The trials are over...sike! When you are stuck in the Valley of Baka...

     

      So you guys, I was just telling someone the other day that I think life is one big season of learning. Maybe I'm behind. Maybe some of you already have all this figured out. 
 Life has different chapters, sure, but I USED to think God only wanted to teach me a lesson every now and then. I only needed growth and reminder SOMETIMES. However, I have come to the place, where I am content, knowing that as long as I live on earth, there will be trials. Don't misunderstand. I didn't say I was happy with being in the midst of a trial, I said that I was content with whatever lot God has given me during my time on earth. Although, lots of happy times are tossed around in there, too. 

I feel like I am just going out of one long, rather enduring trial that has gone on for the past couple of years. And wouldn't you know, a brand new trial has already been laid before me. I am not yet ready to talk specifics about the trial. But, just making my point, that we constantly have opportunities to learn and to grow. Think about it. When have you NOT been facing some sort of trial? Sometimes they are small and sometimes they are big, but there is always something. Also, just because we are in a trial , doesn't mean we can't have peace, contentment, and even joy, along the way. We are able to have those things in the midst of a heady trial, only because of God's grace, I realize. 

As I contemplate my latest trial, I came to Psalm 84. Isn't Psalms a place you just want to camp out? It is a place of such hope for me. 

As I read through those verses, I got to this part, 

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
    whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baka,
    they make it a place of springs;
    the autumn rains also cover it with pools."


I was thinking, "Okay, Lord. My strength is for sure in you. I mean, yes, I totally try to do things in my own strength, but in my heart of hearts, anything I accomplish, is because of your strength, God." 
But then I read about the Valley of Baka, and how they make it a place a of springs. I realized that if it was made a place of streams, it must not have previously been a place of springs. In fact, I bet it was the OPPOSITE of a place of springs. So, I decided to do a tiny bit of research. 
I read that it also means "Valley of the Weeper". Oh...Well...Perfect place for me, as I have been doing quite a bit of weeping lately. I also know that "springs" are refreshing...and a good thing.

So the picture God shows me is this:
I'm in the Valley of Baka..Maybe you're there, too. 
It's dry, it's parched, it's a desperate place that we really have no interest in. If we could, we would take the first train out...heck, the first camel out...anything...just to get away from the heat of the trial...just to run the complete opposite way of the pain. 
 But, if we trust God with our whole hearts, and press forward...if we trudge through the valley, even while our tears are many and streaming down our dusty face, God uses those tears to turn the valley, the horrible place, into something beautiful and refreshing and LIFE-GIVING. 

You know, it's almost sickening just how sticky sweet God's goodness is. Except, we need that grace so badly, that instead of being sickening, we are just nothing but blessed. He is just so good to us, you guys. 
This life on earth, it's not heaven. It's not our home. Bad things happen here. Bad people live here. Hard lives happen. But this is not the end of the story, friends. For those that persevere with God, we will SO be delivered from the harshness that is offered up to us at every turn. 
I am DOWN with that. So down with that. 

So, I may not love trials. But I love my God. I trust Him. I know He is for me...and for you. If I am going through a trial, I know there is a purpose. If I feel God sending me into the Valley of Baka, I don't want to tell Him no. I know He is going to turn it all around for me into something more beautiful than I could ever dream up. If he can turn a desert into a place filled with springs, HOLY SMOKES, what can He do with our lives? Remember how he cares for even the birds?  Matthew 6:26,
 " Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

We are His, and we are valuable to Him. That is why He doesn't desert us while we are in the hard places. He doesn't just get us started and then say, "OH! Your faith only bought you enough for me to get you started. Your on your own now. See you on the other side."
No, no, no. We serve a God who never needs to rest, who never grows weary, and who we don't have to EARN grace from. He sticks it out with us, every step of the way. If that doesn't offer us an overwhelming storehouse of peace, well...then I don't know what does. 

So, again, while I may not be thrilled to be in this trial. I am content. God is enough...today...and for the rest of my days on earth. 

So, I encourage you...if you are going through a trial, if you are in that dry and dusty valley, go ahead... let the tears flow...let them out...but please KNOW that God is going to use those tears, He is going to use the trial. He is going to use you. He is going to whittle and weave and paint and plaster and create a masterpiece out of it all...out of us all.

And quite honestly, I CANNOT WAIT to see the finished product of our lives lived out for Him, brothers and sisters. Thankfully that work of art has already been bought and paid in full. 

Entering the trial a little afraid, a lot weepy, and very shakily, but also knowing that even if some chapters are rough, the ending is going to be great... :)

Parenting teenagers and, well, just parenting....

 

 

 

Teenagers.

Sweet Lawd! I feel like that word alone, “teenagers”, was a whole blog post.

I can’t stop there, though.

See, you usually start out life as a parent, with a newborn baby. At first you are high on love, and adrenalin does an amazing job of carrying you through the first little bit of life.

But then, the sleepless nights (unless you are one of the LUCKY few) start to get to you. You love your baby, but might start to rethink this whole “MOM” thing. You’re exhausted. You’re a little freaked out. You wonder if even other moms who have “been there” can understand how you feel. And mostly, you are afraid to admit it, and talk about it, because you don’t want it to discount the fact that you do love your baby more fiercely than anything else in this world. It’s like if you cop to the fact that you want to run away some days, you are saying you don’t love your baby. It’s overwhelming.

There are days you seriously question if you will make it; if you will ever get to sleep again, or have quality adult conversation again, or have alone time with your spouse again, of just get to be “yourself” again. Do you even know who you are anymore? Mmm. Doubtful. Because the “real you” is lying underneath a load of laundry full of spit-up-on burp rags and diaper changes and breastfeeding (remember when you used to look at your breasts in a whole different way, BEFORE breastfeeding? Yeah. ) , and sleepless nights, and thoughts of strangling people that made raising a baby look easy. You don’t like to use swear words, but “Damn them!”

But, somehow, you make it. The sun rises again. Things get better. You can breathe again. You realize that you aren’t so bad at the mom thing, even if not perfect.

Then the toddler years set in. Terrible twos? Understatement of the year. More like Terrible Ones, Twos, and Threes…possibly Fours. You may have to hide out for a while. Avoid going into public if at all possible. You’ll have to apologize for things like;  your toddler calling other men, “Daddy”, throwing food across the restaurant, asking the cashier what happened to all her teeth, telling one of your mommy friends that their house stinks, for trying to drown the neighbor’s cat…those sort of things. But again, somehow you survive.  Some of your pride is gone, but that really isn’t so bad…is it?

“Kid years” as I like to call them (the ones between toddler and teen) are actually pretty darn decent. Don’t get me wrong…if you have a girl, you will learn the meaning to “drama” and if you have a boy you will learn the meaning to “wild.” Unless you have one of those perfect kids (trying my very best not to be sarcastic and judgmental here). Besides the occasional fight about what clothing to wear and homework and them cleaning their room, it’s not so bad. I mean, there are definitely rough days that still come along, some families have more issues during these years than others, but as a rule, it feels like you are on the downhill slide. You might finally be getting the hang of parenting.

Then the teen years come. (You realize a cruel joke has been inserted here). What happened to the downhill slide?  Now, thankfully, the two boys in my house that are teens haven’t pulled any crazy stunts. Parenting clause: I didn’t say they were perfect, I just said that thus far, nothing too crazy has happened (We’re all still living, right??). I count my blessing every day for such. For privacy purposes, I won’t name names, but we were very close and involved in a couple of teens that DID pull those stunts regularly. It was exhausting, heartbreaking, and I can tell you…worse than ANY night spent awake during  the years of  breastfeeding (or making bottles) and changing diapers. With an infant, you may not sleep, but you know where that baby is. They are safe in your arms (even if exhausted arms). With a teen that sneaks out, or is even simply spending the night with a friend or away at camp…you really don’t know everything that is going on. With technology and internet, I believe parenting has raised the stress level to a whole new level. How can you sleep peacefully when you are so worried? Sometimes you wish them back into that baby stage so you can keep them at arm’s length, then you realize how insane that is, because you would just have to go through all this again.

You know, I know I was a teen once (my kids would totally laugh at that statement).  I know that at that age, being trapped in between being a child and an adult, is So hard. It is so confusing. I think we adults forget how truly awkward and hard it is. You are pressed to act like an adult…be mature, be responsible…but also follow your parent’s rules, even if you don’t agree. I really think as parents, we get so caught up in them being obedient and following OUR rules, that we sometimes forget the whole point of raising children is to help them grown into successful adults. It can sometimes turn into more about us showing them who is boss rather than lovingly trying to show them the way. Having teenagers, I have realized that parenting has never been harder. They are so close to being “on their own”, and it is So scary. It is an incredible challenge to find the balance of guiding them but also letting them find their own way.

As a Christian parent, I want my children to know, honor, and live for God. But, I can’t force that on them, just like I can’t force any other belief or way of life onto them. I want them to be happy, but I can’t choose happiness for them. I want them to be healthy, but that really isn’t in my hands. I want them to be kind and respectful to others, but again, that’s a choice they have to make.  I want them to be productive and contributing citizens…what say do I get in that? What say did my own parents have as I stepped into adulthood? Not a whole lot. Yes, I had the choice to take the morals and lessons along with me that they had tried to pass on, but it was up to me if I wanted to do so.

When I think about this: What if I COULD choose one thing for my child to take into adulthood with them? One thing? My answer is that they would know and live for God. That’s it. If that is the case, everything else, I understand will fall into place. I don’t really have dreams of my child growing up to be a janitor, but what if that’s what he chooses? I don’t have dreams of my child growing up to marry a spouse that is unfaithful, but what if that happens? I don’t have any dreams, of my child ever having to deal with a serious illness, but what if that fear is realized? What if? What if? What if?

There is so so much that I am not in control of.  It is so scary having your children grow up and go out on their own. But you know, it’s also something that makes you proud, I’d guess. You have poured years of blood, sweat, tears, and hopefully prayer into that moment, and while it’s nice to see the fruits of that…it really isn’t necessary.

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

 

This verse says it all. God says that if I teach my children right, which is to know and honor Him, that they will not depart from it. If they wander, they will return. I am choosing, this day, to believe God for that promise. I am laying claim to that offer that God has freely given. I want to encourage you to do the same. Worrying and living in fear for our children, do absolutely nothing to help them.

In Mathew 6, we are told NOT to worry. It won’t add anything to our lives, or our children’s lives. It’s not an easy thing to trust, but that is where FAITH waltzes in and saves the day.

My season of parenting right now, includes a toddler, a “kid”, and two teenagers. Of those two teenagers, one just turned 13 and one will be an ADULT in a few months. Honestly, I can’t get through typing that sentence without tears streaming down my face. I just can’t .  I can tell you that although my toddler keeps me much busier than the rest, so much of my heart and prayer is consumed with our oldest. He is so close to going out into this world. And I know how nasty this world can be.  I wish I was a perfect Christian example, and could say I had no fear about the future…but I would be lying to your face. I do fear. But, more than fear, I have faith. I am ever so thankful, that God makes good on His promises, and that because of that, I am able to let my faith outweigh my fear.

 

1 Thessalonians 5: 17 says “Pray continually.”

So. That’s what I aim to do. I encourage you to do the same. Prayer is one of the very few things, a HUGE thing, that we do have control over. Don’t discount its greatness. Don’t let fear steal the joy from today. Don’t let fear about being a less-than-perfect parent, steal the joy of the sweet times spent with your child.

Don’t let fear about your baby, going out into this great big world, steal your joy that comes from knowing God has great things planned for your baby…even if your baby is about to be an adult.

Pray for your baby, pray for your child, pray for your teen, pray for your adult child. Pray continually. God will work it all out so much better than we ever imagined. Also, He has the power that we very much lack. Thank you, God, for looking out for our jewels J

 

Worry, anxiety, and God's power to take care of it all!

Worry. I used to never be much of a worrier. I’m not sure why I have turned into more of a worrier than I used to be. I find it ironic because my relationship with Christ is stronger than ever, and He calls us NOT to worry. Why, then, do I worry? Why do I grow so anxious?

Matthew 6:25-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

He says “Do not worry about tomorrow.” I believe all the worry we have is about “tomorrow” or “later” or “what’s coming next.” We worry about money and bills and health and weight and about the rising cost of EVERYTHING and about our children and our jobs (or lack of a job) and about our parents and about our siblings and about having the right shoes for the right outfit and about our friendships and about car trouble and about people we don’t even know and about our country and even about God’s will for our lives, and…and…and. So many of us are just worriers. So many of us filled to the brim with anxiety.

So I ask myself, “If I truly believe in God’s plan for me, why am I spending one second of my life on worry?” Also, when has worry EVER been beneficial? When has it ever helped us? When has worry ever solved a problem?

Not once. Not once is it EVER conducive for our lives.

God reminds us that He even makes sure a bird has food, and wants to know, then, how can we ever doubt that He won’t care for us? When we worry, we are in fear that it won’t turn out right…but with God for us, that isn't even a possibility. Granted, it may not turn out the way we desire, but it will turn out according to God’s plan for us. And God has our best interest at heart every. single. time.

Sometimes when I am in the midst of a worry-fest, I talk myself down. “
OK, Katy, the worst thing that could happen is that we could go completely broke. If we go broke, we won’t be able to buy any food. We will starve to death. But then, when we die, we will be together with Jesus and all will be well.” OR “Ok, Katy, if someone kidnaps you and tortures you and kills you, it will hurt, it will be painful, but then you will be with Jesus.”

Now I know some of you think I just went off into the deep end, but hey, whatever helps me (or you) not to worry, then work it out! J God never promised that we won’t ever have trials or suffering, but you can BANK ON IT when He has said He will care for us. There is ZERO need to worry. It is what it is, and God will FOREVER remain on the throne. I have decided that I need a sign hung up in my house that says, “HE REIGNS.” That way I have a constant reminder that nothing on earth can ever dethrone my God, nothing can ever make Him stop caring for me, nothing can get in between He and I.

Although I have “talked myself down” from worry too many times to count, in my rational state, I know that the best weapon against worry is prayer. God gives us the freedom to call out to Him whenever and wherever and claim His victory over our troubles, our problems, our concerns…our worries. So, I feel the need to do that just now, in case anyone else is a worrier and is having a hard time handing it over to God…

Most Holy Father, I come to you right now and first of all, thank you for our many, many blessings. Thank you that you care about every detail of our lives. Thank you that you never, ever forsake us. Lord, you know we fall so short in our walk with you and you know that we struggle with worry. I ask that you would just remind us of your Holy Word that instructs us not to worry…and we know you don’t give us that word to be bossy but truly for our benefit. You know that worry will do nothing for us, and you want us to walk in that truth. Father, whether it’s our health, our finances, the government, our loved ones, big life decisions needing to be made, or any other fear known to man, give us peace in the TRUTH that you have it all worked out and there is no reason at all to fear or worry. Bless us with a peace only you can give. Remind us daily that you sit on the throne and that you are most capable of holding us in Your Hand. Take away all our worry and replace it with faith in You! We ask this in the most Holy Name of our Savior <3 amen="" o:p="">

May today be 100% worry free for you (and me) and may we just relish in the fact that God has us<3 o:p="">