The trials are over...sike! When you are stuck in the Valley of Baka...

     

      So you guys, I was just telling someone the other day that I think life is one big season of learning. Maybe I'm behind. Maybe some of you already have all this figured out. 
 Life has different chapters, sure, but I USED to think God only wanted to teach me a lesson every now and then. I only needed growth and reminder SOMETIMES. However, I have come to the place, where I am content, knowing that as long as I live on earth, there will be trials. Don't misunderstand. I didn't say I was happy with being in the midst of a trial, I said that I was content with whatever lot God has given me during my time on earth. Although, lots of happy times are tossed around in there, too. 

I feel like I am just going out of one long, rather enduring trial that has gone on for the past couple of years. And wouldn't you know, a brand new trial has already been laid before me. I am not yet ready to talk specifics about the trial. But, just making my point, that we constantly have opportunities to learn and to grow. Think about it. When have you NOT been facing some sort of trial? Sometimes they are small and sometimes they are big, but there is always something. Also, just because we are in a trial , doesn't mean we can't have peace, contentment, and even joy, along the way. We are able to have those things in the midst of a heady trial, only because of God's grace, I realize. 

As I contemplate my latest trial, I came to Psalm 84. Isn't Psalms a place you just want to camp out? It is a place of such hope for me. 

As I read through those verses, I got to this part, 

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
    whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baka,
    they make it a place of springs;
    the autumn rains also cover it with pools."


I was thinking, "Okay, Lord. My strength is for sure in you. I mean, yes, I totally try to do things in my own strength, but in my heart of hearts, anything I accomplish, is because of your strength, God." 
But then I read about the Valley of Baka, and how they make it a place a of springs. I realized that if it was made a place of streams, it must not have previously been a place of springs. In fact, I bet it was the OPPOSITE of a place of springs. So, I decided to do a tiny bit of research. 
I read that it also means "Valley of the Weeper". Oh...Well...Perfect place for me, as I have been doing quite a bit of weeping lately. I also know that "springs" are refreshing...and a good thing.

So the picture God shows me is this:
I'm in the Valley of Baka..Maybe you're there, too. 
It's dry, it's parched, it's a desperate place that we really have no interest in. If we could, we would take the first train out...heck, the first camel out...anything...just to get away from the heat of the trial...just to run the complete opposite way of the pain. 
 But, if we trust God with our whole hearts, and press forward...if we trudge through the valley, even while our tears are many and streaming down our dusty face, God uses those tears to turn the valley, the horrible place, into something beautiful and refreshing and LIFE-GIVING. 

You know, it's almost sickening just how sticky sweet God's goodness is. Except, we need that grace so badly, that instead of being sickening, we are just nothing but blessed. He is just so good to us, you guys. 
This life on earth, it's not heaven. It's not our home. Bad things happen here. Bad people live here. Hard lives happen. But this is not the end of the story, friends. For those that persevere with God, we will SO be delivered from the harshness that is offered up to us at every turn. 
I am DOWN with that. So down with that. 

So, I may not love trials. But I love my God. I trust Him. I know He is for me...and for you. If I am going through a trial, I know there is a purpose. If I feel God sending me into the Valley of Baka, I don't want to tell Him no. I know He is going to turn it all around for me into something more beautiful than I could ever dream up. If he can turn a desert into a place filled with springs, HOLY SMOKES, what can He do with our lives? Remember how he cares for even the birds?  Matthew 6:26,
 " Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

We are His, and we are valuable to Him. That is why He doesn't desert us while we are in the hard places. He doesn't just get us started and then say, "OH! Your faith only bought you enough for me to get you started. Your on your own now. See you on the other side."
No, no, no. We serve a God who never needs to rest, who never grows weary, and who we don't have to EARN grace from. He sticks it out with us, every step of the way. If that doesn't offer us an overwhelming storehouse of peace, well...then I don't know what does. 

So, again, while I may not be thrilled to be in this trial. I am content. God is enough...today...and for the rest of my days on earth. 

So, I encourage you...if you are going through a trial, if you are in that dry and dusty valley, go ahead... let the tears flow...let them out...but please KNOW that God is going to use those tears, He is going to use the trial. He is going to use you. He is going to whittle and weave and paint and plaster and create a masterpiece out of it all...out of us all.

And quite honestly, I CANNOT WAIT to see the finished product of our lives lived out for Him, brothers and sisters. Thankfully that work of art has already been bought and paid in full. 

Entering the trial a little afraid, a lot weepy, and very shakily, but also knowing that even if some chapters are rough, the ending is going to be great... :)

Where I talk about the struggle...

Hi.

My name is Katy, and I struggle with materialism. I think.

See, I’ve come a long way in this area, but just when I think I have it pegged, God shows me I need to continue to allow His work in me. Remember Isaiah 64:8? Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.

 He is continuing to mold me into the vessel He knows I can become. It requires patience and trust and faith on my part. I’m still working on my part J

Let me tell ya! He has His work cut out for him. BIGTIME.

Before I get too deep, I want you to know that nothing I say is meant to pass judgment or make anyone feel bad about themselves, but please know I plan to be brutally honest here.

You see, I like nice things. I’m not rich. Well, actually, I guess that depends on how you look at it. We can’t afford a Land Rover (my dream vehicle….I know, I know… I already admitted I struggle with materialism). We can’t afford a huge home, or even a kind-of-big home.  We don’t have hundreds of thousands in the bank. But. We have a roof over our head, food to eat, and clothes (cute ones at that) to cover our body. We can send money for field trips at school and go out to eat with friends. So , when I read that 22,000 children die from poverty EVERY DAY, and that almost half of the world lives on $2.50 or less per day, “rich” took on a whole new meaning.  A lot of people would rather turn their eyes and ears away from statistics like these, because if you don’t know, you don’t have to think about them, and you don’t have to act in order to help change the situation.

Besides, who was to be convicted when you are trying to pick out a cute pair of shoes? AMEN??

What can I say? I’m a typical woman. I love to shop. I am an internet shopping queen….because I love finding unique things that not everyone else in this town has. My ultimate downfall is probably shopping for clothes for my kids. They are my pride and joy. I love dressing them up. I mean, I love a compliment on my handbag or shoes, because I was the genius that picked them out…but my kids are where my heart is. So, my biggest weakness lies there. It’s not so much as to “show them off”, but my kids are MY kids. No one else gets the rewards for having them.  I love when they are dressed in a way that represents me, what I like, and who I am.

SWEET LAWD!!!!! Just typing that makes me feel like an idiot, and I am resisting the urge to take that line out. (Insert having to lay down my pride right here). I guess when I think about it, and get honest, maybe when they are dressed cute, I feel like I’m a good parent. I mean, a good parent takes time to buy, pick out, and dress their kids cute, right? It shows they care, right?

MAJOR OUCH.

If this actually gets published on my blog, it will be a true BABY JESUS LYING IN A MANGER MIRACLE. It’s not easy to lay yourself bare.

 BUT. Here is the deal. I serve an amazing, grace-filled, totally capable, and loving God.  2 Corinthians 12:9 says this: But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

So, because of God’s great and everlasting love, I can let you guys in on my weakness, because God’s strength more than makes up for every area I fall short in.

Now, not all of you struggle like I do in this area. But it would be a lie to say that we don’t ALL have struggles. Not only would it be a lie to say we don’t struggle, but it would be denying that God has the grace and the power to cover our iniquities. It would be the same as saying, “We don’t need God or His grace and forgiveness, saying that because we have it all figured out and can handle it on our own.”

And while I’m talking here, let me be clear…this is far from my only struggle. BUT. I feel quite sure neither I, nor you, can handle me talking about more than one of my struggles at a time. It’s overwhelming to speak the truth and admit how weak we really and truly are.

See, I hear so many say things like, “I’ve worked hard, I deserve this (insert pleasure here).” I have said that myself. Many times. I gawked at a friend that spent $800 on a handbag, but totally excused myself when I spent $100 on one. Of course $100 is a lot less than $800, but really we have no right to judge. Our incomes are different. Our lives are different. Our convictions are different. God has different things planned for each and every one of us. BUT. Here comes some of the brutal honesty… I don’t think for a minute, if Jesus was right here, he would say, “Yes, you are an amazing and hardworking mom…I want you to go and buy that handbag for yourself instead of feeding a family that can’t afford food.”  Whether it’s $100 or $800, I think we are supposed to be responsible with the finances that God has allowed to come into our lives.

When a friend suggested the book, Kisses from Katie, I read it. That book convicted me and grew me like no other book (besides the Bible). In it, she said something like, God didn’t make too many people and not enough resources to go around. She’s so right. It’s that the people that Do have, are not spreading it around enough. That, shamefully, includes me.

I have the book downloaded by Jen Hatmaker, 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess

Y’all. I can’t even open that one to the first page. I’m scared to death of it. I know it’s going to convict me and grow me even more in this area and I’m just not ready for it. I kind of wish I had it in the actual book, instead of downloaded. My reason for that is because once I read Created to be His Helpmeet and it was a great book, but the time came where I needed to read it again. I was kicking and screaming. I didn’t want to read it, I didn’t want to be convicted and I darn sure didn’t want to admit I had some feelings and actions that needed dealing with.

So, I just left it in the floor.

 It taunted me every day, just sitting there, looking up at me, like “You know you need to read me.” Then, before I got a chance, Blake took a poop on it.

 Literally, like, he really took a poop on it. What can I say? It was during the potty training stages. J  So, you see, if I had the Jen Hatmaker book in actual print, I might could get Blake to poop on it. Then, I’d have to throw it away. No conviction for me!!! YAY!

In Matthew 26:11 Jesus says the poor will always be with us.

Like always, Jesus was right J DING DING DING!

The poor WILL always be with us, but that doesn’t mean we don’t do our darnedest to help who we can and change what we can in the few precious moments we have while we are on this earth.

I’m not super sure why today is the day I felt the need to confess and write about this. I guess it’s because lately, Jesus has been whispering to me to “Love Love Love” on people. I love how he is so gentle with me, even though I am so incredibly stubborn. He has revealed to me how incredibly worthless material things are, and how incredibly important His people are.

I’m sure you guys are thinking one of three following things…

1.    Why did I waste my time reading this?

2.    Katy is seriously off in the head. I’ll still smile at her and say Hi when I see her in public, but wow, she is really nuts!

3.    I can relate to this…I don’t love that these feelings are being stirred in me, but I think I can admit that I struggle, too

I guess I just want to say, that as God’s people, we can do more. We can focus less on ourselves. Less on material things. More on people. More on loving them. How willing are you to reach out to someone you wouldn’t normally even give a second look to, and do something kind for them? To throw caution to the wind, and love someone, just for the sake of loving them?

How willing am I to give up my next pair of new shoes, and instead, give the money to a struggling mom? Brutal honesty: I’m not sure, but it’s something I darn sure want to work on. It’s something I want to pray about. It’s something I want. Because I know God wants it for me. I know He knows I’m capable.

I know He is also patient with me. He knows I am just a pile of mushy wet clay. He knows that I know, He isn’t going to force me into a lovely vessel of His design unless I allow Him to. He isn’t a forceful God. He is a good, patient, and loving God. I love that about Him.

Precious Father God, use us for your good. Help us to love like you love. Help us to help one another. Help us to encourage. Help us to not be afraid of showing our weakness, because your strength takes care of us. Amen!

Transparency...the long version

What is transparency?

I looked up the definition. It said “fine or sheer enough to be seen through,” “free from pretense or deceit,” and also, “readily understood.”

Some synonyms I looked up: clearness, lucency, translucence, translucency, clarity

I believe God calls us to be transparent. But how many of us are truly transparent? How many of us are “sheer enough to see through and without deceit?”

For me, there are things I readily share, things I reluctantly share (but still share when I feel the time really calls for it), and things I haven’t shared at all.

Ephesians 4:25 says, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”  God is mighty and can work on anyone and through anyone. If we are quiet about what God has done for us, then to me, it’s like trying to keep His holiness a secret. If we keep His holiness and His ability to do great things such a secret, then we are losing out on sharing His greatness with others. If we don’t share how great He is, they may never come to know Him.

Do we have to have diarrhea of the mouth and tell everyone, everything, all the time? Haha! I don’t think so. Not at all.

I think the Holy Spirit encourages us to share when the timing is right and the situation calls for it. Of course, sometimes it’s hard to know when the time is right.

I personally love when people share their trials with me and then tell about what God has done to help them. It’s not because I’m happy that someone else has gone through something painful or tough or heartbreaking, it’s because it gives me hope to hear the details of His amazing healing and forgiveness.

I always feel blessed when someone comes to me with a problem, and it’s something I have gone through and can share my own experiences with them. I also always feel more comfort when I am facing a trial and can talk to someone that has been through that same thing already. When someone has been through what you have, there is just a new level of connection and understanding. When that happens, God is able to show up and show out, right on time. It can make all the difference in someone coming to know what a caring, detail kind of “guy” that God is.

Can God work without us sharing our business? Duh. But how much more are we blessed when we allow Him to use us for His glory?!

The things I have been through, the things you have been through…that is part of our story…the good times and the bad times, the up times and the down times. Our story may be what helps lead someone else to Christ, or if they already know Christ, then help lead them to further healing in Christ. Sometimes we have parts of our stories that just seem so undeserving, so unclean, so filthy, that we just don’t see how God could want us, much less use us. But, He can. When Christ gave Himself up for us, His work wasn’t limited to only cover certain sins or certain people. The gift is there for all to receive, if they accept it.

The more we share our struggles, the more transparent we are, the more opportunities we have to help others, and honestly usually find some healing and help for ourselves in the situation as well. Our sin is like a filthy rag, and yes, it is shameful, and no it’s not easy to tell people about what mistakes we have made, but Christ cleaned our rag and made it brand new, as white as snow…that is JOY, people! We can be proud of who we are BECAUSE of Christ Jesus. That is something to sing about…not something to hide…It’s something to share with someone about!!

Also, when we are afraid of being transparent, afraid of judgment, we can totally take it right to the feet of God. We can ask boldly for Him to give us courage in doing what He asks of us.

There is ZERO condemnation in Christ Jesus, ZERO judgment in sharing the MIGHTY works He has done in us.

So with that being said, I have being praying fervently for Him to show me how, when, where, and with who I should be transparent with. I don’t want to miss an opportunity to share about how amazing He is, simply because I am afraid. He is totally working on me in this area and this topic has been on my heart…so, If you want to pray for me in this area, thank you! If you need prayer from me in this area, feel free to email me J  

Let us be completely and totally in Your will, God!