Convicted

This morning I fueled up and headed for Sherman. I was so excited to be going for a little girl time with my cousins, one of which is visiting from Honduras. I had a great time (Much Needed!), but that isn't really what this post is about.
After we said our "goodbye's", I got in the car and was making my way to highway 82. I had to stop at a red light and there was a man there holding a sign, "On the road, please help". I HATE when I see this...I don't know why, I guess partly feeling guilty that they are "worse off" than I, and partly annoyed that they are asking for help when I'm just trying to drive down the road...I don't know exactly. Anyway, like most people, I just try to avoid eye contact. I immediately knew I had to avoid looking into his eyes...there was no way I could give him a ride. I've been told my my husband, brother, dad, etc..to NEVER, under any circumstances, pick up a hitchhiker. But, I could feel his eyes on me. I felt him walking towards my car. I began to panic because my window, though not rolled down, was cracked open. I wanted to roll it up, but felt a combination of emotions and couldn't bring myself to roll it up all the way. As he got right up to my window, I was afraid to even look over at him, I didn't know what he might do (my door was locked though, so I knew he couldn't get it open). Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him reach up to my window, and he dropped something in.
A dollar bill.
I was confused.
I picked it up and tried to hand it back to him, he just smiled and said, "No". The light turned green, and I drove away in shock. Not because a dollar amounts to much, but why did he do that? I drove silently for several miles, basically in shock, going over the situation multiple times wondering why that man did that, when it was clearly he that needed help. I called one of my cousins, who I had spent the day with, and told her what happened. "What if it was Jesus, "she said. After that, I really didn't hear anything else. I immediately felt ashamed.

Hebrews 13:2
Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.


If I had it to do over again, I probably still wouldn't offer him a ride, just for my own safety. But, I had $5 in my pocket I could've given to HIM. I also had a sack of Chic-Fil-A food I could've offered him..I SHOULD'VE offered him (It defiantly wouldn't have hurt me to miss those calories), but I didn't.
I began to think to myself, "When did I let my heart become so cold? When did I decide I didn't have to share my blessings because it was an inconvenience to me?" Why, do I automatically assume "those people" are just going to spend it on alcohol, or something else that is bad for their health. Why, when I saw him smoking, did I decide if he could afford cigarettes, he could afford to eat? Where in the Bible does it say that if you FEEL like helping, you can. Who gave me the right to judge?
By the time I had all these thoughts, I had driven quite a ways. I wanted to go back and talk to him, and ask him why he did that. I wanted to know more about him, I wanted to know his story, I wanted to pray with him. But, my voice of reason said I had gone too far, and had family waiting that I needed to get home to.
So, I will never know his reason, or his story. But, I know that I walked away from those couple of minutes, convicted. On one hand, I am ashamed of how I handled the situation. On the other, I feel God spoke to me through this situation...He softened my heart so that I can make better choices next time. I pray that I do make better choices when something else like this comes up. Until then, I will pray that the Lord lays his might hand on that man and blesses him.
I share this story, because I think a lot of us have hearts that could use a little softening. I think we could all give a little more than we currently do. Weather it is your money, or your time, or something else, let's pray together that we are not only thankful of our blessings, but also willing to share them...because as the verse says, you truly may be entertaining an angel.