6 weeks...

Let me just say that I completely torn between being elated and heartbroken at the same time. Baby Blake turned 6 weeks on Wednesday. I am elated to have a happy, thriving, overall healthy, beautiful baby. I am heartbroken that he is growing so fast. As a Mom, I think that's normal, though. He still seems so new, yet life without him seems like a distant memory.

Overall, he is doing well. He has thrush at the moment, which he passed on to me, via breastfeeding. It's better now, but I must admit was HORRIBLE and the pain just about caused me to give up breastfeeding all together. But, we are both taking medicine, and hope it will be gone soon, either way, it's much better than it was.
He is growing...he was born @ 7.4 pounds and now is somewhere between 10 and 11 pounds. I've already had to pack away his newborn clothing, and did good not to break down in tears.

He was born with a place on his head, the doctor referred to it as nevus sebaceous, and said it will have to be removed in a few years. He told me a few other things about it that were kind of scary. I came home and did some searching on the internet, which I should NOT have done. Kind of freaked me out. But, for now, we leave it alone and I just try to keep my mind off of it, after all, God is in control here!

Everyone asks how I am. I'm ok. Lot's of people say I look tired. I am. I really don't like hearing I look that way, though...a wee bit depressing. Everyone thinks because Blake is number 4 that I've got this "Mom thang" down and things are just falling into place. Not so. Blake is definitely our most challenging baby thus far. Don't get me wrong, he is an overall good baby, and he's not colic or anything...he is just far more demanding, and cries more than any of our other three. My other three, as infants, were so close to perfect, that I think they must've spoiled me, because I'm having a bit of a rough time with Blake. But, he is amazing and beautiful and precious...and when I have moments I can just sit still and stare at him, I get teary eyed knowing we planned NOT to have him, and he made it anyway. God is good.

Blake's biggest achievement thus far is smiling. It's fabulous and melts my heart. He's only done it a few times (not counting times in his sleep or when it's just a natural movement...ya know, like when people say "That's just gas" haha). His first real smile was last week...there is nothing better than seeing his sweet face lock eyes with me and grin at me...his Mommy. So, happy 6 weeks to our little miracle!