I miss you...

August 6th marked 3 years that my Mamaw has been gone from this Earth. I can't say I miss her any less. I would say I still think about her every single day. There are VERY few things I wouldn't give to have one more day with her. Both of my grandmothers were very special ladies. My Gma will have been gone 4 years this September. Two precious ladies that I have had with me my whole life, then they left me just less than a year a part of each other. Oh, I am sure they are in Heaven. And, I am sure they have no desire to be back here with me. But I can be a bit selfish. I would love to have a cup of coffee with them. Get my Gma a glass of water or help her set up for a Bridge party. I'd even sneak her a cigarette that she wasn't supposed to have, right about now. I'd love to be in the kitchen, cooking with my Mamaw. I'd love to be sitting beside either of them, holding their hand. Their hands were so soft. My heart hurts that Blake will have never met them.
These days I don't cry near as often, and when I do have a break down, I'm able to "buck up" and get over it much more quickly. As time goes by, you do learn to cope much better, but your heart doesn't miss them any less. It just doesn't.
To say I hate cancer, would be a gross understatement. Though, I know everyone dies, everyone has a time they must leave Earth...and I guess if it wasn't cancer, it would have been something else. I hate it just the same.
I know they aren't missing anything in Heaven, I know they lack nothing in the presence of Him. But, my love for them is so strong and big, I think it must overflow from my heart sometimes. I hope that love isn't out there floating around, but flying right up to Heaven, to where they are.

I love and miss you, my sweet Mamaw and my precious Gma.
I know you have peace on every side...and all is well.
Hugs to you in Heaven, from here on Earth...
Katy