Do you know me? I’m ADHD.

Do you know me? I’m ADHD. Technically, I think I’m ADD.

     I used to be one of those people that thought ADHD was WAY over diagnosed. And it might be a little these days, but I am here to testify first-hand, it’s real. It goes along with every other disease, diagnoses, and issue that people have, unless you have it or deal with it on a personal level…you don’t get it.

I have a son that is ADHD to the fullest, and sweet Jesus, my patience has been poked, prodded, and tested to the extremes over the years.

ADHD is like a cloud that just stays with me…some days it’s lighter and some days it’s heaver…but it’s always there.

I used to not be open about this, but I have learned SO much from others that share their stories, that I think it’s only fair that I share a little of what I know.  

It is way too huge a subject to cover it all, but the point of this post, is to say that I live with ADD and ADHD every day of my life, it’s real, and it’s real hard.

I am used to being disorganized and forgetful and I am used to having my mind wander even though I have threatened it not to. I remember as a little girl in school, LONG before I knew what ADD was or that I had ADD, I remember giving myself pep talks before a lesson, “Ok, Katy, you are going to listen to the teacher. To every word she says, you will listen. You will NOT think about other things. You will not day dream. Focus, Katy, focus.”   And I can tell you that 9 times out of 10 the teacher would call on me and I would have NO clue what she had been talking about. I felt like a fool all the time. However, I was very well behaved, and the teachers still liked me. I also was smart and desired good grades, so if that meant going back over the lesson on my own later so I could stay caught up, then I did it. I just never understood WHY I couldn’t control my mind, why I couldn’t be more disciplined. Then, I got older and I found out I was ADD.  

Please don’t think that ADHD people are lazy or that they don’t care. Please don’t think that when they ask you to repeat yourself, they are not purposefully trying to be rude by not paying close enough attention. I am not hyper but my son is. Please don’t think that when you have asked them to sit still and they absolutely cannot resist movement, that they are trying to be difficult.

Fast forward several years, I now have a son with ADHD. I got my first inkling that he had it when a teacher told me, “When we sit on the carpet he just can’t sit still. He sits on his little hands and shudders trying not to move, but he just can’t hold it in.”  I don’t imagine anyone will ever feel what I felt in that moment. The helplessness I felt as a parent was and is overwhelming.

 I could go on and on and on about individual stories and situations with him, but it’s too much. Let’s just say that the decision to medicate your child is far from easy. It’s painful, It’s heart breaking. It’s a lot to think you need to give your child a pill each morning just for them to be “normal.” It’s not a choice you make and then move on from, it’s a battle that takes place every single morning when I open the medicine cabinet.

Getting the diagnosis, gives you a starting point, it gives you an understanding of “why”, but it still doesn’t “fix” your issues.

 I couldn’t tell you the number of times I have felt judged for making the choice to give him medicine and I couldn’t tell you the number of tears that have fallen over the struggle of it all…because both of those add up to far more than I could ever keep track of. I do wish that some of you would become more informed about ADHD/ADD, and if you don’t want to become more informed, then I wish you would at least become less judgmental. If you are a teacher, or in the education field, it is your JOB to be informed.  I hate to be so blunt, but quite frankly I have dealt with some true idiots at the schools. That being said, I have also dealt with some really caring individuals. No matter what, a parent is always their child’s best advocate. Parents, fight for what is right for your child. Never let anyone make you or your child feel stupid, unimportant, or little.

And how about trying to take care of an ADHD child, being an ADD parent? Complicated, trying, stressful, exhausting, overwhelming…the list goes on.

When I started school I decided to give medicine a try for my own ADD. Not an easy thing to put out there, but this is me. The verdict? Night and day. NIGHT AND DAY. My medicine was a low dose, and before without meds, I was so so scatter brained and forgetful no matter how much I despised being that way (although I have learned to cope with ADD over the years and am much more self-disciplined than I was years ago), but with the medicine…Wow. It was like “to do “ lists just popped up in my head when I tried the medicine…things that had been forgotten or put off…there, neatly organized on a list in my head. I describe my brain as being a system of cubbies…things are taken into my mind and according to their “subject” should go into a certain cubby. Before meds, it was like nothing ever made it into the right place, it was all just tossed on the floor into a big pile and when I needed something I just had to start digging. But, with the medicine, everything went into place, and was right where it should be when I needed it. The difference was huge. If you are ADD as an adult, and you are struggling, and have never tried medication for it, it’s worth it. I’m here to let you know that.

My best advice is to have a good support system. The school, the doctors, family, friends, etc. You don’t have to tell the world, but you have to have people you can trust and talk to about it. You have to have people you believe are on your side and are fighting for you (or your child). I know that I completely quit sharing with those that I felt were being judgmental about the issues we were dealing with. But, you just have to keep pushing forward until you find a solid place where you feel like “Ok, this person is going to be helpful, I can trust them.” And obviously, pray pray pray. God knows all about the struggle, He hears you, He gets you…He can help you handle it. Read…books, the internet, there is information everywhere. Get informed, you can’t battle for yourself or your child if you don’t have the knowledge.

And…if you are in a situation where you know someone who struggles with this, be a help, or get out of the way. Please don’t be a hindrance, please don’t add to the war that’s already raging in someone else’s life. Pray for them, become informed for them, encourage them.

When I am having a most terrible day, I find comfort in the fact that God has designed each and every one of us, according to His plan…not ours. I find comfort in the fact that even though living with ADHD/ADD isn’t easy, there is a reason for it. He didn’t design me or my children to sit uniformly in a classroom, all the same, all the time. We each have characteristics and talents and dreams that line up OH SO PERFECTLY with God’s most amazing plan for us. Praise God that even in these storms, even in these trials, He has it all worked out, down to the very last detail…even if one of those details is ADHD. J

Because we all know kids are funny, especially mine :)

Let’s face it, kids are funny. Our own kids are even funnier. I love the way they talk, reason, and their honesty…though those things can sometimes get them into big trouble. This post is a little different than most of mine, but it felt like a fun thing to do, so here are a few funny moments from this past week…THIS IS MY LIFE and It's awesome!

Conversation between Izzy and I , while we were taking turns thinking of things and letting the other one guess what we were thinking about…

Izzy: Here’s a clue mom, it’s on your face

Me: Oh, ok…ummm, nose? Eyes? Mouth? Skin? Freckles?

Izzy: Nope! (at this point she leans in really close examining my face) Here’s another clue….it appears you have recently shaved yours off, but I still see a couple of hairs

Me: A mustache? Are you saying I have a mustache?

Izzy: Yes, that’s it!

(Insert me feeling really NOT good about myself here)

Blake was sitting naked at the dinner table (no judgment here, people…you have no idea how LITTLE I need judgment) and said a word that wasn’t very nice. It’s starts with an “F” and I don’t use it, but apparently someone does. I’m not huge on spankings but I felt like he needed a good swat on his bare bottom. After I swatted him I went back to cooking dinner and he started bawling (of course). He came right up to me and you could tell he was forcing himself to hold his hands down by his side. Then he cried out in between the pouring tears, “ Mooooooom, I just want to hit you so bad right now.” I became overwhelmed with his cuteness and the way he just seemed so mature by using honesty and self-restraint…and so uncontrollable laughter may or may not have ensued….

Most mature mom moment right there, folks!

Funny moment from dinner a few nights ago:

 I made taco soup and cornbread for dinner. I gave Izzy a cornbread muffin, she took a couple bites and said, "these cupcakes are awful! They need icing!"
I'm laughing uncontrollably and said, "It's cornbread, not a cupcake, crazy kid!"
She replies, "It still needs icing..."

Really, who can blame the girl? What isn’t better with icing???

I was laying Blake down at bedtime and after we said our prayers I was about to get up and go finish doing other things, when he said so softly, “Mom, Jesus wants you to rub my back.”

Really? Who could not then lay there for an hour rubbing that sweet boy’s back??

The thing about this is SINCE THAT MOMENT, Everything Blake wants, he says Jesus wants. “No, Blake, you can’t have any candy.” “But Jesus said YES I can have candy, Mama!”  This type of thing now happens all day, every day.

Just this morning the hubs gave Blake a cinnamon roll to try and told him it had lemon in it. After taking a bite, Blake says, “I weally weally like the women, Dad!”  Obviously he thought “lemon” was “women”…to his benefit, they do rhyme ;)

I have noticed through all these funny little moments in life, that they happen less often as they grow up. It kind of makes me said knowing that these situation are happening less with Izzy and pretty much never with Andrew and Joseph. Well, not the “F” word one, it doesn’t make me sad when they don’t say that. J  So, for good measure I thought I would add one of my favorite “oldie but goodie” moments…

When Andrew was probably 8 or 9, we were driving along in the car and I kept noticing Andrew looking under his arms. He would check one out, then the other…one out , then the other…back and forth. I finally said, “Son! What on earth are you doing?” His response? “I’m looking for puberty, Mom!!”

Honestly, that one STILL cracks me up after all these years, one of my funniest Mom memories! I’m drawing a blank on Joseph moments right now, but out of all of them, he has probably been the most entertaining kid, ever…but Blake is definitely giving him a run for his money. Annnnnd since I don’t have a funny moment written down with Jojo beans, I will include a picture of him from our beach trip summer before last. We were all tired of driving and stopped to fuel up. I go in to pay and come back out and this is was is standing there waiting for me:

I really wish I would have written down more of what the now older ones said when they were younger.

Ah well, life moves forward. Happy Thursday, people…Friday is so close I can smell it!!!

Worry, anxiety, and God's power to take care of it all!

Worry. I used to never be much of a worrier. I’m not sure why I have turned into more of a worrier than I used to be. I find it ironic because my relationship with Christ is stronger than ever, and He calls us NOT to worry. Why, then, do I worry? Why do I grow so anxious?

Matthew 6:25-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

He says “Do not worry about tomorrow.” I believe all the worry we have is about “tomorrow” or “later” or “what’s coming next.” We worry about money and bills and health and weight and about the rising cost of EVERYTHING and about our children and our jobs (or lack of a job) and about our parents and about our siblings and about having the right shoes for the right outfit and about our friendships and about car trouble and about people we don’t even know and about our country and even about God’s will for our lives, and…and…and. So many of us are just worriers. So many of us filled to the brim with anxiety.

So I ask myself, “If I truly believe in God’s plan for me, why am I spending one second of my life on worry?” Also, when has worry EVER been beneficial? When has it ever helped us? When has worry ever solved a problem?

Not once. Not once is it EVER conducive for our lives.

God reminds us that He even makes sure a bird has food, and wants to know, then, how can we ever doubt that He won’t care for us? When we worry, we are in fear that it won’t turn out right…but with God for us, that isn't even a possibility. Granted, it may not turn out the way we desire, but it will turn out according to God’s plan for us. And God has our best interest at heart every. single. time.

Sometimes when I am in the midst of a worry-fest, I talk myself down. “
OK, Katy, the worst thing that could happen is that we could go completely broke. If we go broke, we won’t be able to buy any food. We will starve to death. But then, when we die, we will be together with Jesus and all will be well.” OR “Ok, Katy, if someone kidnaps you and tortures you and kills you, it will hurt, it will be painful, but then you will be with Jesus.”

Now I know some of you think I just went off into the deep end, but hey, whatever helps me (or you) not to worry, then work it out! J God never promised that we won’t ever have trials or suffering, but you can BANK ON IT when He has said He will care for us. There is ZERO need to worry. It is what it is, and God will FOREVER remain on the throne. I have decided that I need a sign hung up in my house that says, “HE REIGNS.” That way I have a constant reminder that nothing on earth can ever dethrone my God, nothing can ever make Him stop caring for me, nothing can get in between He and I.

Although I have “talked myself down” from worry too many times to count, in my rational state, I know that the best weapon against worry is prayer. God gives us the freedom to call out to Him whenever and wherever and claim His victory over our troubles, our problems, our concerns…our worries. So, I feel the need to do that just now, in case anyone else is a worrier and is having a hard time handing it over to God…

Most Holy Father, I come to you right now and first of all, thank you for our many, many blessings. Thank you that you care about every detail of our lives. Thank you that you never, ever forsake us. Lord, you know we fall so short in our walk with you and you know that we struggle with worry. I ask that you would just remind us of your Holy Word that instructs us not to worry…and we know you don’t give us that word to be bossy but truly for our benefit. You know that worry will do nothing for us, and you want us to walk in that truth. Father, whether it’s our health, our finances, the government, our loved ones, big life decisions needing to be made, or any other fear known to man, give us peace in the TRUTH that you have it all worked out and there is no reason at all to fear or worry. Bless us with a peace only you can give. Remind us daily that you sit on the throne and that you are most capable of holding us in Your Hand. Take away all our worry and replace it with faith in You! We ask this in the most Holy Name of our Savior <3 amen="" o:p="">

May today be 100% worry free for you (and me) and may we just relish in the fact that God has us<3 o:p="">

Skillet Enchiladas

I planned to make skillet enchiladas for dinner, but since the hubs will be at work, I decided to make them for lunch (and make enough so the kids and I will still have plenty for dinner).

This recipe was shared with me years ago, and everyone in our family really likes them, so I thought maybe I should pass it on since it's fairly easy :)

Skillet Enchiladas (I always double the recipe...but I'm feeding 6)
1 lb ground beef
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 four oz. can chopped green chilies
1 can crm of mushroom soup
1/2 can of milk
12 corn tortillas
1 ten oz. can enchilada sauce (red)
2-3 cups of shredded cheese  (I use a 16 oz. block of cheese and shred it when I'm doubling)
I also recommend not being out of paper towels :)

Brown meat in large skillet; add onions, chilies, soup, and can of sauce.
Then add the milk and make sure it's all nicely blended together and let it simmer while you get the tortillas ready.
Heat some oil in a separate skillet and then dip each tortilla just long enough to soften it. (You will need lots of paper towels to stack the tortillas and soak up the oil)
When tortillas are ready, fill with some cheese, and then set them into the sauce (I do this one at a time). I have to use my spatula to move the sauce around and make room for them :)
Top with remainder of cheese and let simmer until thoroughly heated/cheese melted.

P.S. When I double this recipe, I used a large skillet to make the mixture then I get out another skillet and scoop/pour part of the mixture into the other skillets. I have tried just doing the recipes separate from the start, but it seems like more work ;)

P.S.S. It probably wouldn't hurt your family's feeling if you had chips and queso to go along with this :) I always think I'll make spanish rice and beans to go with it, but it never happens.

Enjoy!

(Not) The best housekeeper

     Truth is, I am not the best housekeeper (insert picture of me hanging my head in shame). I am actually very picky, and even when most people think a house is clean, I still don't. You think that would make me a good housekeeper, but not so much.
     Laundry for six is a never ending story and I honestly never even have the goal of having every bit of laundry in the house completed. I am happy if I have only one basket of non-overflowing dirty laundry. Some weeks are better than others, and the dirty pile doesn't get too overwhelming anymore, but the clean pile...Oh! The Clean Pile!! (Insert cringe). I have a bench in the living room (we don't have a laundry room, only a laundry spot) and 6 out of 7 days of the week, it is piled with clean laundry. My mother is always amazed that my family isn't dressed in wrinkly clothing, since we oftentimes grab stuff straight from the "laundry buffet." Confession: about three times in my life, laundry has gotten so bad that I just loaded it all up and took it to the laundry mat. It was shameful, but felt amazing to come home with ALL clean laundry.
Sweeping and mopping...well, we have tile throughout the house, except in the bedrooms. I am thankful because at least when the floor is clean, it's clean. I hate how carpet just holds on to stuff and the padding under the carpet...eek! But, actually cleaning the tile, is such a chore. I'd rather talk about it (or blog about it) rather than do it).
Dusting...what's that? Windows? Rarely. I do like to give the bathroom a good scrub, but we also have four guys in our home. Even my car is usually a mess.
     My point in all this, is to say, I don't like being a bad housekeeper. I hope to always improve, at least just a little at a time, but it's far from being my forte. It makes me feel bad about myself because I'm a stay at home wife and mother, and all of us are supposed to be great at keeping the house in top-notch condition, yes? Well, I'm not great and it just makes me feel bad.
    I wish I had a list I could keep up with. A schedule to follow.  I also wish I was much better at implementing and enforcing REGULAR (regular being the key word here) chores for my children to do. I do have them do certain things, but after they have spent a day at school, the guilt sets in when I ask them to do something besides homework. In all honesty, I believe NOT having them help, is failing them. The goal of being a parent is not to always be there to baby our children. The goal is to teach them to be able to be responsible adults. If we don't teach our children how and when and the importance of doing chores, being helpful, and working together as a family, we are really failing at what I believe is one of our main jobs as parents.
    I do believe that we all have talents and are gifted in different areas. There are areas we all have that we excel in...and areas we fail in.  Knowing that housekeeping is an area I struggle in, though, I don't believe it gives me a free pass to not work on improving in this area. I have also decide that rather than feel bad about myself, it is better to take this concern to God and ask Him to help me work on this area of my life. I find comfort in knowing that I don't have to have a perfect house, but I do have to make an effort. I also find joy in knowing that it's okay to love on and enjoy my kids, rather than stress about everything being perfectly in place.
     I am So blessed to have a family that needs picking up after. I am so blessed to have a home that needs tending to. I am beyond blessed to have a God that accepts me just as I am, imperfect housekeeper and all. :)