6 weeks...

Let me just say that I completely torn between being elated and heartbroken at the same time. Baby Blake turned 6 weeks on Wednesday. I am elated to have a happy, thriving, overall healthy, beautiful baby. I am heartbroken that he is growing so fast. As a Mom, I think that's normal, though. He still seems so new, yet life without him seems like a distant memory.

Overall, he is doing well. He has thrush at the moment, which he passed on to me, via breastfeeding. It's better now, but I must admit was HORRIBLE and the pain just about caused me to give up breastfeeding all together. But, we are both taking medicine, and hope it will be gone soon, either way, it's much better than it was.
He is growing...he was born @ 7.4 pounds and now is somewhere between 10 and 11 pounds. I've already had to pack away his newborn clothing, and did good not to break down in tears.

He was born with a place on his head, the doctor referred to it as nevus sebaceous, and said it will have to be removed in a few years. He told me a few other things about it that were kind of scary. I came home and did some searching on the internet, which I should NOT have done. Kind of freaked me out. But, for now, we leave it alone and I just try to keep my mind off of it, after all, God is in control here!

Everyone asks how I am. I'm ok. Lot's of people say I look tired. I am. I really don't like hearing I look that way, though...a wee bit depressing. Everyone thinks because Blake is number 4 that I've got this "Mom thang" down and things are just falling into place. Not so. Blake is definitely our most challenging baby thus far. Don't get me wrong, he is an overall good baby, and he's not colic or anything...he is just far more demanding, and cries more than any of our other three. My other three, as infants, were so close to perfect, that I think they must've spoiled me, because I'm having a bit of a rough time with Blake. But, he is amazing and beautiful and precious...and when I have moments I can just sit still and stare at him, I get teary eyed knowing we planned NOT to have him, and he made it anyway. God is good.

Blake's biggest achievement thus far is smiling. It's fabulous and melts my heart. He's only done it a few times (not counting times in his sleep or when it's just a natural movement...ya know, like when people say "That's just gas" haha). His first real smile was last week...there is nothing better than seeing his sweet face lock eyes with me and grin at me...his Mommy. So, happy 6 weeks to our little miracle!

Welcome to the World...

Blake Brewer, Sept. 8th, 7 lbs and 4 ozs.




I must admit, my toughest delivery yet, though not bad compared to some stories I've heard from other women. Let's just say I have a whole new respect for the women who have to push for hours...I did not...but the pain and the pushing were far worse than with my other three...whew! This was the first labor that I screamed with or said unkind things to people...which I later apologized for, thankyaverymuch.
I know most newborns do change, but Blake looked like one person the minute he came out, and a couple hours later, he had a whole new look. Crazy! I think he looks like Joseph, but with darker skin and hair...David thinks he has different features of all three of our other children, but ultimately has his "own look". Either way, he is precious, sweet, and beautiful! God is SOOOOO amazing...SO amazing. He knew we made plans to stop at three kids, but made a way for us to have a fourth...we didn't know that's what we wanted/needed...but he is the absolutely perfect addition to our family. As of today he is 13 days old, and I don't even recall life without him...(I mean, you know)...it just feels so natural to have him here, in our lives, in our family. His 2 brothers and his sister completely adore him, he has actually helped bring them somewhat together, they are fighting and arguing less with each other, and constantly wanting to help with baby Blake. I am tired, for sure, but blessed beyond what words could ever tell. Thank you, Jesus, for the sweet blessings of all four of our children, they are each so unique and I pray as they grow that they follow You and Your will for them. Life is good♥

Change is a comin'

In two days I am scheduled for an induction if I don't go into labor before then. I'm excited, anxious, and a bit frazzled. Where have the 9 months of pregnancy gone? With my other three pregnancies, it seemed to drag on forever, where this one has snuck by me incredibly fast. When I think about the pains, and sleeplessness, etc...it does seem like I've been dealing with it forever. But, when I think about pregnancy lasting 9 months, it feels like we just broke the news a few weeks ago to family and friends and we should still have a few months to go. Either way, the time is upon us. I don't think, wait, I KNOW, none of my other pregnancies have affected me emotionally near as much as this one has. Granted, there have been some other big things going on in our lives that have probably added to my emotional state, but still, this has been a bit of a rough go for me. I go between feeling ultimately blessed that the Lord chose to gift us with another sweet child, and then feeling overwhelmed. What does the Lord see in me that I don't? Doesn't he see me already struggling trying to do things "right" with the family I have, how am I ever going to succeed with yet another one thrown into the mix? But, I know that no matter what, the Lord is with me, He will help me through this just as He has every other thing in my life. I know He has a better, a greater, a more awesome plan for me...for my family. I love and trust in Him alone. So, I am nervous...I am a little worried...I'm even a bit scared...but I'm also hopeful, excited, and happy. I can't wait to meet this new life that is about to be here...one that David and I created with God's help. A new brother for Andrew, Joseph, and Isabel. I am dying to see who he takes after in the looks and personality departments. I am excited to see just who this little one is that the Lord has choose to add into our family. Whatever he looks like, whoever he acts like, I know he will be the perfect fit. So, tomorrow the other three kids start back to school, and the next day we bring a new baby into our lives. Change is DEFINITELY a comin' :-)

Wowza

First, I can't believe a little over 2 more weeks and the kiddos will be headed back to school. They have had a super long Summer, getting out back in May because of flex scheduling and not going back until after Labor day because of our new high school being built (which I can't wait to see, I've heard it's awesome!). I feel like my kiddos have been "jipped" this Summer. First, this Summer has been during my last trimester of pregnancy. A fat, hot, tired, pregnant woman doesn't make for much fun. I've had little to no energy and pretty much no patience. Usually we are much more active and doing this and that, so, I feel guilty, but hopefully we can make up for it next Summer. Also, we always take a vacation, and couldn't this year because of David's job situation.

Speaking of David's job, he is going to get to stay on longer than we though, which is a true blessing. However, his shift is changing to night. I am a bit stressed, because this means I will be solely responsible for dinner, bath, bedtimes, etc, along with caring for a newborn all night by myself. Not to mention, I'm used to having my hubby here, with us, home, at night. He will get home very early in the morning and won't be able to stay up long enough to take them to school, I'm sure. So, I will also have to get the other 3 up and ready and off to their different schools (riding the bus isn't an option since we live out of district), no matter how tired and crappy I look, LOL, or how much the baby has been up the previous night. So, we are definitely up for some challenges, and it won't be easy, but God hasn't failed us thus far, and I know He will continue to care and provide for us. If you feel so led, please say a prayer for our family during this time of transition. Again, I know we are still blessed, just going to take some getting used to. And, if you see me out in public, looking rather wretched, like I should've never left the house that way...please be kind anyway. :-)


Anyway, a couple of weeks back, my sweet friends threw me a baby shower. It was perfect! My cousin brought a cake in to town for the shower that her MIL made, it matches baby Blake's bedding (hope we don't change his name again LOL)

The one picture of me opening gifts where I wasn't making an absolutely hideous face (and too bad because I got some SUPER cute stuff)!

And, for some reason I didn't get enough photos with people, then again, I HATE taking photos..hate it, but I have to throw this one in there because it's me and my bf...we have been friends for about 17 years...our friendship has truly weathered so much, and I'm thankful for her...

*note the adorable corsage they had made for me in brown and blue flowers and baby stockings...loved it!

So, that about sums it up for now. I have a little over 3 weeks until my due date, and I have an appointment Monday, so I'm curious to see what the doctor says this week! I'm getting pretty anxious, and ready to meet the little boy who has been growing in my belly!

Catching up

All is going pretty good in the Ibarra household. I am 35 weeks pregnant, and while I don't feel awesome, I actually feel better this week than I have in the past few weeks. I woke up before dawn today, and that was after a night of tossing and turning, this belly refuses to let me get comfortable...but this past week I have managed to get a couple of decent nights sleep, which is SUCH a blessing. I had a checkup Monday, and everything looks good. Doc says this baby will probably be a bit bigger than our other 3 were...but since they were all in the 6 pound range, that doesn't mean a whole lot to me. I am getting really ready to meet this little man, we think his name is going to be Blake. The thing is, with my other pregnancies (and I think most women at this time?) you are busy, busy, busy, nesting and trying to prepare...but I have hardly any energy to do that. The house seems to get further behind, and it seems like I am just letting everything go. In the end it will all be fine, I'm sure, but for now I struggle between feeling bad about not accomplishing enough in a day to overdoing it and feeling yuck.

It seems all I talk about these days is pregnancy...of course, that is kind of my life! But, I have three other beautiful blessings...who will be starting back to school the first week of September. I can't believe it...and 8th grader, a 4th grader, and a Kindergartner...wow, how time flies! They are all doing really well and just enjoying the rest of their Summer break. We didn't get a vacation this Summer, which Lord knows there are more important things, but it was hard on us because we just really enjoy that time to get away from reality and have some super sweet family time. But, with David's job situation, we had to pass this year. Times are tough, but we are just trying to remain hopeful and faithful, knowing God's plan is sufficient, more than sufficient for us. Thank you, Lord, for your promises to take care of us! I am so ready to have this sweet baby boy and get a "somewhat" normal body back. Plus, I have been super moody and naggy this go-round, and my poor family has put up with enough!

So, in 5 weeks or less we should have a bouncing baby boy to add to the mix. We are looking forward to it, and I can't wait to see what else God has in store for our family in the upcoming months :-)

33 weeks

So, I'm pretty sure all I blog about these days is pregnancy. But, since there are never any comments, and the blogs I usually keep up with hardly ever have a new blog, I'm assuming my blogging friends rarely get on here anymore. Ahhh well. Anyhoo, I'm 33 weeks. 7 weeks until my due date. For the most part, thankful for a healthy baby and a healthy me. I am having quite a bit of pain and stuff I didn't have in my other pregnancies, but again, a small price to pay for the blessing that awaits me. I had a TINY bit of a scare the other day. This baby is SUPER active, all the time. On Sunday I noticed he wasn't moving much at all. I told my hubby, he said to call the doctor, but I said I was probably just paranoid and wanted to wait another day to see how it went. Well, the next day, Monday, he still wasn't moving much AT ALL. So, I called my doctor and figured he would say, "Oh that's normal, at this point they are running out of room, etc, etc". Nope, he told me to go up to L&D so they could monitor him. This freaked me out. Mainly because with my other 3 perfectly smooth pregnancies, I never had to do anything like that, I only went to the Dr for my regular appts. and to the hospital to give birth. I took the kiddos to my dad and drove myself to the hospital. I didn't even tell anyone what was going on at the time, because I was so afraid of "claiming" any problems there might be. Crazy, huh? Stupid, right? LOL. Anyway, once I got there and they hooked me up, baby boy still wasn't moving...freaking out a tad bit more. Then, the super sweet nurse came in with a device and said she was going to "buzz" him. I'm not sure if it shocked him or just sent him a vibe, made noise, or what...but about a minute later he really started moving. Thank you, Jesus! After a little more monitoring, they said I could go, that everything looked really good. My doctor came in and talked to me, told me I did the right thing, not to feel silly or anything of the sort. He told me some other interesting info, then said even if I needed to come back in tomorrow for the same thing, not to hesitate, that it's better to be safe than sorry, and that's what they are there for. He made me really good about everything. Anyway, everything is going pretty good. We have almost everything we need for baby boy (except a name). I am trying to "enjoy" the last few weeks of this pregnancy and not rush it, after all, it SHOULD be the last time I will ever be pregnant.

On another note, I am really impatient with my children, mainly my boys, because they bicker all day. I feel like it is a constant battle to get them to behave, get along, etc. I always relish our Summer breaks together, and I think this is the first Summer I've ever said this, but I am SO ready for school to start back. I feel like an awful mother saying that, but it's true. I just want a break, I'm exhausted. The thing is, this baby is due right when they are supposed to start back to school, so I don't see myself getting a break while I'm still pregnant. Fun times, huh?

Names

So, I have 9 weeks until my due date, and we are completely torn. Have I already blogged about this? Possibly so, I'm too lazy to look back, and quite frankly, I feel like I'm running out of town and this kid is just going to have a name "thrown" on it. Basically, I was liking Landon or Jude. David didn't like either, he likes Jacob or Cameron...I like neither. Our other kids have Biblical names (Andrew, Joseph, & Isabel). I didn't actually mean for it to be that way, but it happened, and now I can't find a Biblical name David and I can agree on. I googled a list of male Biblical names. We either don't like the same one, or know someone fairly close to us who already has the name. So, I can't decide weather I'm ok with that. Even if the first name isn't Biblical, we could choose a middle name that is, but I kind of wanted to go with Brewer for a middle name. Brewer is a family name, and my middle name, too. Lately, we thought about Eli. I like Blake, Cullen, Callum, Diego, Pablo, Manuel, Jaspar, Ezra, Abraham, Mateo, Cruz, and Corban. I know, a wide range of names, eh? I like several Spanish names, David doesn't...go figure. I don't want a name that's too...ummm, modern, I guess? Because my other kiddos have more classical names, but, I didn't mean for it to turn out like that either, and now I feel stuck. I told David this baby boy threw us for a loop, so it's ok if his name is a little different, too...but not sure he's going for that reasoning. Anyway, I am just absolutely lost on the names. I want to call this little man baking inside me something, makes it more personal when the guy kicking your ribs out has a name, ya know? Anyway, I am accepting any and all suggestions (though I'm not sure that will help me at this point). And, as silly as it may sound to some, I'm also accepting prayers that God would lay the right name on our hearts. :-)


"A GOOD name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold." Proverbs