Labor Day

     Yesterday was spent at Lake Texoma, celebrating Labor Day and my Uncle Stan's bday! The drive is only a little over an hour, and worth it! Lake Texoma is beautiful, plus spending the day with family is always a great time. My Uncle Stan and Aunt Roma are the sweetest, always kind and welcoming, we love them! Our kids love, love, love all the water activities, and hubs and I enjoy watching them and having some play time of our own :) Besides a couple of screaming fits, arguments, and one cuss word Blake felt the need to say (and it embarrassed me beyond belief), the kids were great. Actually, when said that way, it doesn't sound like they were great. Anyhoo, a great time was had by all, and here are some rinky dink Iphone pictures from the day!...

                                                   Our 16 (almost 17) year old and myself

Joseph helping Blake out to the raft

Blake finally getting in the water after an hour of refusing to do so

My cousin Emily, myself, and cousin Sara...pretending we were 16 again 

The big blue fabulous raft

Hope you all had a safe, happy Labor day weekend! Blessing to each and every one of you!

Transparency...the long version

What is transparency?

I looked up the definition. It said “fine or sheer enough to be seen through,” “free from pretense or deceit,” and also, “readily understood.”

Some synonyms I looked up: clearness, lucency, translucence, translucency, clarity

I believe God calls us to be transparent. But how many of us are truly transparent? How many of us are “sheer enough to see through and without deceit?”

For me, there are things I readily share, things I reluctantly share (but still share when I feel the time really calls for it), and things I haven’t shared at all.

Ephesians 4:25 says, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”  God is mighty and can work on anyone and through anyone. If we are quiet about what God has done for us, then to me, it’s like trying to keep His holiness a secret. If we keep His holiness and His ability to do great things such a secret, then we are losing out on sharing His greatness with others. If we don’t share how great He is, they may never come to know Him.

Do we have to have diarrhea of the mouth and tell everyone, everything, all the time? Haha! I don’t think so. Not at all.

I think the Holy Spirit encourages us to share when the timing is right and the situation calls for it. Of course, sometimes it’s hard to know when the time is right.

I personally love when people share their trials with me and then tell about what God has done to help them. It’s not because I’m happy that someone else has gone through something painful or tough or heartbreaking, it’s because it gives me hope to hear the details of His amazing healing and forgiveness.

I always feel blessed when someone comes to me with a problem, and it’s something I have gone through and can share my own experiences with them. I also always feel more comfort when I am facing a trial and can talk to someone that has been through that same thing already. When someone has been through what you have, there is just a new level of connection and understanding. When that happens, God is able to show up and show out, right on time. It can make all the difference in someone coming to know what a caring, detail kind of “guy” that God is.

Can God work without us sharing our business? Duh. But how much more are we blessed when we allow Him to use us for His glory?!

The things I have been through, the things you have been through…that is part of our story…the good times and the bad times, the up times and the down times. Our story may be what helps lead someone else to Christ, or if they already know Christ, then help lead them to further healing in Christ. Sometimes we have parts of our stories that just seem so undeserving, so unclean, so filthy, that we just don’t see how God could want us, much less use us. But, He can. When Christ gave Himself up for us, His work wasn’t limited to only cover certain sins or certain people. The gift is there for all to receive, if they accept it.

The more we share our struggles, the more transparent we are, the more opportunities we have to help others, and honestly usually find some healing and help for ourselves in the situation as well. Our sin is like a filthy rag, and yes, it is shameful, and no it’s not easy to tell people about what mistakes we have made, but Christ cleaned our rag and made it brand new, as white as snow…that is JOY, people! We can be proud of who we are BECAUSE of Christ Jesus. That is something to sing about…not something to hide…It’s something to share with someone about!!

Also, when we are afraid of being transparent, afraid of judgment, we can totally take it right to the feet of God. We can ask boldly for Him to give us courage in doing what He asks of us.

There is ZERO condemnation in Christ Jesus, ZERO judgment in sharing the MIGHTY works He has done in us.

So with that being said, I have being praying fervently for Him to show me how, when, where, and with who I should be transparent with. I don’t want to miss an opportunity to share about how amazing He is, simply because I am afraid. He is totally working on me in this area and this topic has been on my heart…so, If you want to pray for me in this area, thank you! If you need prayer from me in this area, feel free to email me J  

Let us be completely and totally in Your will, God!

Ready to get this party started...again!

I am at a place where I just feel the need, want, and desire to blog again. Possibly, because I post way too much on facebook :) Either way, here we go!

I am a writer (meaning I enjoy writing, not that I’m a professional writer J , I am a thinker, I am an analyzer (to a fault), and I am a feelings person. I used to be great at blogging, but life happens and my blog fell by the wayside. Now that I have “time” to start blogging again, I’m going to see if I can’t keep it updated. Welcome back, peeps, or peep, or whoever! 

Refresher...

I got the chance to go to a retreat (ladies only!) this weekend. It is always hard to leave the kids. First, I have rarely EVER left Blake overnight (two other times, and one was a time I was so sick I didn't know where I was, much less that he was gone with his Mimi!). I miss the other kids when we are apart, but I am used to them spending the night with grandparents, friends, etc, from time to time, so it's not the same as it is with Blake. However, I knew that I would be refreshed, and that my husband and children would benefit from me being blessed at the retreat :) Finances are also always an issue, but I just felt like it was worth the splurge. Then the issue that my house would probably be a wreck when I returned, loomed over me. But, I decided that it was worth it...I just got it in my mind that I'd probably have a mess to tend to when I returned...and I did, but not too bad.
There were too many amazing moments to go into detail about all of them. Not only was the spiritual growth/refreshment completely amazing, but just the fellowship with other women was just awesome! Several hours of uninterrupted conversations with friends, new and old. It was so perfect! I came away with a lot, but the two main things were this...I am so thankful for friends that "get me"...the other thing, was the reminder of how awesome our God is. It is such a freeing feeling to know that nothing on this earth will ever satisfy us, only God can satisfy. It's freeing because it gives us the "go ahead" to stop chasing after all the "crap." The bigger house, nicer car, significant other, another baby, handbags, cute shoes, even good food...yeah, some of it is great, some of it God allows us to be blessed with...but none of it truly satisfies us. You will always want something else. Only God satisfies.
I am thankful to my husband, mother, etc...for caring for the kids while I was away. I am thankful for the ladies that worked so hard to put the retreat together. I am thankful for the friends I rode with and roomed with. God let it work out perfectly, down to the last detail, for me. He knew just what I needed.
If any of you get the chance to do something like that, go for it! You will be blessed :) And by you being blessed, you will be able to bless others :)

Brown recluse bite...Warning: graphic images

I cannot believe I am about to post these, but I am! A couple weeks back I was bitten by a brown recluse. Every year about this time, we see a couple of what we know as "house spiders". My husband sprays the house, and we don't see any again until the next year when we "rinse and repeat" :). This year was a little different. I found a brown recluse in the kitchen. My husband argued with me that it wasn't one. I was so thankful for the modern day world wide web...all it took was a few clicks on the computer to show him I was right. This is what a brown recluse looks like: Anyway, my husband sprayed that night. After another day or so I woke up to find a dead one in my bed. I'm not sure why, but I didn't freak out. I knew David had sprayed (and it was STRONG stuff) and I figured everything was dying. Fast-forward to the weekend where we spent time at the lake. I noticed a red bump on my hip and showed my sister. For a split second I wondered if it was a spider bite. But, it didn't hurt or itch and didn't look too bad. I have really sensitive skin, so I figured it could be just about anything. A day or two later I noticed the red area was growing. Then a smallish lump formed in the middle. Another day or so and it was starting to throb with pain, until then it never really hurt or itched. At that point I started thinking it might actually be a spider bite, but because of our lack of insurance since the hubs was laid off, I put it off for another day. The next day it hurt SO bad and was black in the middle, I decided it was worth the $$$ to go to Minor Emergency clinic. There they confirmed (because of the black) that it was a bite from a brown recluse. I got a shot, and a prescription for an antibiotic. I was told not to pick at it or mash it, but to apply a hot compress (a hot rag, possibly even heated in the microwave to get it as hot as I could stand and then lay it across the bite and then cover it with saran wrap to hold the heat in) several times a day. My leg continued to throb with pain. I was absolutely paranoid my whole leg was going to rot off. Granted, even though the sore was looking worse, it was NOTHING like some of the awful pictures I had seen online. A day or two after going to the doctor the pain was so bad, and it was even worse when I stood up...all I did that day was lay around and do the hot compress over and over. My husband begged me to let him pick at it but I said "NO!". I finally agreed to let him use a q-tip, not to mash or squeeze, but to try to pull the skin off the really swollen part. It hurt like ****, but I once he did that, a little later the pain did decrease. I expected a lot of stuff to come pouring out, and stuff did drain, but it was really slowly over the course of a few days. All the skin that was swollen and red began to peel (or rot?) off. It still isn't completely healed. I don't even know how long it has been (3 weeks maybe?)...but it isn't "gooey" anymore, nothing is draining anymore, and it doesn't hurt. It's kind of dry and a bit itchy at times. I took pictures a few days in a row, I don't have any from the very beginning or from the end, but I am totally about to post the few I have. I posted the warning in the title...these are kind of graphic...like I said, not near as bad as other pictures I have seen, but if you have a sensitive stomach, stop reading here :) I'm not sure if these are in exact order, and yes, you do get to see my pasty, freckle-y hip :) Also, these really do not show the variation in the shades of red, purple, and blue that spread out in rings from the bite (in person it really looked yucky) and it's also hard to tell how swollen it was, but here they are....

I love to blog. I really, really do. I just don't have much time for it these days. I also love to read blogs, especially ones written by other Mommies. But, I haven't had much time for that lately, either. This past year has really been crazy. Although....I feel like I have said that the last few years. Anyway, I just completed my Associate degree, which feels good. Now that I have been in school along with the kids, Summer break has a WHOLE NEW meaning. I am so thankful Summer is here, and school is out...for all of us! The hubs is still working from home, trying to decided what to do next in that area. It isn't easy, but God has provided and kept us afloat. I am so thankful to have such a hardworking husband. A couple weeks back I got bit by a brown recluse...it was nasty. I took my no-insurance-havin' self to the doctor. I got a shot, a couple meds, and thankfully it kept things from getting to ugly. It is starting to heal. Blake is a blessings, and also a challenge. He is so different than my other babies were. I know each child is different, and we aren't supposed to compare. But. When you already have three children who have followed somewhat of a similar pattern, then number four comes along and is here, there, and everywhere, and not at all what you were expecting...it throws you for a loop, sometimes landing you FLAT on your face. But, thankfully he is cute, so I'm going to keep him. Kidding! Kidding! (about the only keeping him because he is cute part). One thing that has kept me sane is a group I joined when I was preggers with Blake. It was a group of other ladies who were pregnant and due at the same time I was. We still have the group, and still keep in touch. It is nice to have Moms who have babies at the same age, and for them to understand where you are coming from, whether joyful, sad, or stressed. Truly thankful for that group of ladies. School. Did we cover this already? Hmm. I think I just want to say that I'm not finished, and I'm trying not to rush things. Only the sweet Lord knows what year I will really finish. Hopefully I will still be interested in teaching when that time comes. Although our budget is tight, my man is AWESOME when it comes to putting money aside. So, thanks to him, we are going to squeeze a beach vacation in this Summer. So excited. SO EXCITED. There are lots of places I want to go, see, and things I want to do...BUT the beach is just healing. I need some healing. I can't wait to put my toes in the sand...then the ocean...then back in the sand...and so on. :) This is a ridiculously condensed version of my life the past few months. It will have to do. Love to you ALL!

For those who don't know...

For those that don't know about migraines...I'm going to fill you in.
You may think this is silly because if you get migraines, you already know about them...and if you don't get them, then what do you care, right?
Too bad, so sad.
There is lots of good info online about migraines, so this is just a personal point-of view :)
The reason I'm writing this post, is to inform people that have people in their lives that get migraines, but don't understand what that means.
Let's get one thing clear...a headache is NOT a migraine. I mean, there are your run-of-the-mill headaches, but a migraine is a whole new level of pain.
I've heard they are hereditary, and I believe it.
My Mom always had lots of headaches when I was growing up and I never understood how she could get them so often. That is, until after I had my first child and started having migraines. I had had my fair share of headaches up until then, but the pain level started to increase and I would throw up with them. The progressed over the years. The pain is so bad, it feels like someone is inside your head with a hammer and they are pounding away, trying to find a way out. My day is done when I get a migraine, if AT ALL possible, I just have to take my meds and go to bed. Thankfully, my family is truly understanding. I have been sick as a dog before, and still up taking care of my family and getting stuff done, but a migraine puts me down completely. Usually it starts out with throbbing, can be anywhere, but lots of times on one side of my forehead. I will think to myself, "Please let this be a regular headache and not a migraine!" Then the nausea starts, the pain worsens, it's awful. My prescription Zomig (the nasal spray) works pretty good when paired with Phenergan for the nausea. If I have it, I take it, then I bury myself in covers. Ideally, I would pass out and wake up with it gone, but when you have someone hammering away on your skull, it's near impossible to fall asleep. Every sound is magnified, every light is painful to look at (at least for me). Also, now that my husband has been laid off and we are without insurance, my Zomig costs over $200 for SIX doses. Yup, you read that right. For the most part, I do not experience "auras" or whatever it is that is common with migraines...but the worse migraine I have ever had did start with a type of aura. We were in church, it was during worship. I was following the words on the big screen, when all of a sudden, I could only see half of the screen. I looked over at my husband to see if it was just me, and I could only see half of his face...I started to panic a bit (mind you I had no pain or other symptoms at this point)...I looked around at my children and other people...everything I looked at I could only see half. I whispered to my David to tell him what was wrong. He said I think you are stressed and your eyes are stressed, just close your eyes and relax. I tried, but I started feeling sick. I went to the car to wait on the family to finish with the service. By that time, serious pain had kicked in and we were on our way to drop the kids off at the in-laws and head straight to minor ER clinic. I couldn't breathe well, and my feet and hands actually curled up and were so tight I couldn't move them. I was OFFICIALLY freaking out by now. We got to the clinic and checked in. I remember at one point begging David to go find a rope and hang it around my neck. Now listen, I'm a woman. I can be just as dramatic as the last dame, but I would never joke around about suicide in this manner. I was desperate for relief! When they called me back, they ended up giving me a shot of what they said was very strong, said they'd be back in ten minutes and my symptoms should be starting to subside. When they came back, nothing had changed...it didn't help at all. The ONLY comfort I had was I had read somewhere that no one ever died from a migraine, although I was wondering if I would be the first, and if it would be self-inflicted. The doc said he had an even stronger shot he wanted to try, he administered it, and said he'd be back in ten. Thank you, Jesus! I could actually feel it kicking in, and I was immediately GRATEFUL! Of course, I was an absolute froot loop for the rest of the day, but at least I wasn't a froot loop who was in pain! Anyway, like I said, that was the worst one ever, but honestly, when you are in the midst of it, each one feels like the worst one ever. Also, my have been really bad lately. Last week I had three or four. Then this week I've had a couple, one happening on the day our family went out of town for a Spring Break fun day! I was so mad, but in too much pain to actually take it out on anyone or anything (besides, who or what would even be my victim??). Another thing, is some people are able to figure out their triggers, I have not been able to so far. I think that would be great information, because then you would at least know what to try an avoid. Also, I went for an eye exam last year, and they took pictures of the back of my eyes. The doctor said I had quite a bit less pigment back there than most people, which means light doesn't filter as well, and it could be adding to my migraines. I thought that was super interesting, and have noticed that if I go outside when it's bright for a decent amount of time, I get a migraine almost every time. So, even though I've never loved sunglasses like most gals, I've started wearing them. I try to stay inside on days like those, but I can't avoid life...we have soccer games, birthday parties, etc, etc, that I have to be a part of. I guess my point to all this, if you know someone who suffers from migraines, please know THEY ARE REAL. Just because you haven't experienced one, don't doubt how painful and terrible they are. Don't think your friend or family member is being dramatic, or a big baby...just do what you can to help, and be thankful YOU don't have to deal with one. We have four children, and I don't want to think about the odds, because I PRAY that NONE of my children ever have to experience a life with migraines...even though our two oldest boys already get a fair amount of headaches. My Mamaw once told me that she thought she had had a headache or two in her lifetime, but that was it. I cannot fathom a life with no headaches...!?! The fact is, we could all use a little more "walking a mile in someone else's shoe" type sympathy for others :)