I’ve been thinking lately…how do you know how many children to have? I mean, is it something that is really planned “for you”, or not? For instance, the Duggars having 19 children…do you think God intended for them to have that many, or is that how many They just decided to have? What about couples that can’t have any? Are they not meant to have children, or are they hand picked to adopt from all the beautiful, needy children in the world? This topic is not to offend anyone, by the way. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about a lot.
David and I have three kids. We talked about it, weighed our options, and after our third child, we decided we were done. David ended up having a vasectomy. I honestly wanted him to go that route, because I had, after all, carried and given birth to all three of our children. Also, I have several friends who have had tubals, and have all told me about various problems they have, ranging from mild to more serious. The vasectomy cost less, was less invasive, much less recovery involved, etc…so that’s the route we went. I definitely didn’t try to talk him into it, because if something did go wrong, I didn’t want it to be “my fault”, but we weighed all the pros and cons…and this was the result.
Isabel is 5 now and over the years David and I have talked about reversal, but ultimately neither of us want any more children at this time, so we haven’t gone any further than talking about it. I have expressed, that when Izzy was a little older, I would like to consider adoption. After my first two children, my body bounced back to normal (basically) inside and out. After Isabel, my body had a rough time, I dealt with things I never dealt with after having my other two kids. In my heart, I knew I never wanted to carry another child again...not that I didn’t love it carrying my children, just that my body is DONE. I also knew the option of adoption would still allow us for another child, if we so desired, and felt God was leading us there.
Right now, the economy is bad, money is tight, at least with most people I know. We closed on our house the day before I found out I was pregnant with Isabel, and it’s already cramped for space, and I couldn’t imagine bringing another child into this home. We simply, in no way, shape, or form, are ready for another child. I don’t know that I ever even want another child, it’s up in the air.
The fact is, though, we were never really “prepared” when we had our other children. Life just happens sometimes.
So, my point is, how do we know how many children are right for us? I know 19 is not right for us…neither is 2…but what is? Is it 3? Is that “our” number? And how do I know for sure? I can pray about it, but what if I pray about it and don’t feel led in a certain way? Does that mean stop at three…or does it mean go ahead and take in as many children as your able to? I’m not sure. So, this is something that has been heavy on my heart, and what better place to vent than my blog, it is cheaper than therapy, after all. :-)
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