Confessions of a teenage drama queen SAHM...

This post is somewhat a confession post. Not that you're the priest, or that "Hail Mary" will make it any better. Cause it won't.
I have a problem. My first problem, that I think is the root cause of what I want to confess is that I'm ADD, I'm scattered, don't do good with planning, or sticking to a schedule. Plan ahead? What's that?

I have always dreamed about meal planning. Where I could buy the groceries I need for those certain meals of the week, etc, and cook them up. Cook up some chicken, use half for chicken and dumplings, and the save the other part for tomorrow's crock pot recipe. Make two casseroles at once instead of one, and freeze one for a later date. That what I WISH I could do. But, instead, I go buy groceries, just whatever jumps out at me. So, now I have the groceries in the house, but, I wait so late in the day to decide, that either I don't have time to prepare what I want, something doesn't have time to thaw, etc. So, we go out to eat, or I cook some frozen or boxed meal. Yum.

Or not.

I looooove cooking, but I hate cleaning up afterwards, and I'm no good at the planning part. I need serious help. So, the main part of my confession is this, I waste stuff. This week alone I had to throw out 2 pounds of ground beef, fresh green beans (that were meant for a delicious Pioneer Woman recipe), and asparagus (and that stuff ain't cheap)! That should be a sin, heck, I'm pretty sure that IS a sin. I've bought that stuff with my hubby's hard earned money, and then have to throw it out. Let's not even take into account that there are starving people in the world, or those meals would be much healthier for us than whatever CRAP we end up eating out somewhere.

I'm SO ashamed, but don't know how to improve it. I'm SICK of wasting. It's even more of an issue now that David's job is on the line and we are expecting another baby (which I'm supposed to find out the sex of today!!!).

So, since I love the Internet, and especially blogs, so much...I'm thinking there has got to be a site where some incredibly opposite of me woman plans meals, etc and then has time to blog about it, so, my new goal is to FIND that site, and pretty much follow it (unless they have something nasty, like meatloaf). Wondering if I'll stick to it? Hide and watch...just HIDE AND WATCH!

What a man...

..or boy. Either way, he's mine. Joseph, my 2nd born son. I have to say that he is defiantly (thus far) the most dimensional of my children. Just when I think I have him pegged, he throws me for a loop. I am pretty sure he's a one of a kind. Sometimes that's good, sometimes it's bad, and sometimes it's a total blessing. The other day we were @ my Mamaw's (ok, it used to be my Mamaw's, but she now resides in the Kingdom of Heaven, and my dad is temporarily living there at her house, so really, I guess it's his house, but I just can't call it anything but Mamaw's). Anyway, My Mamaw has various flowers she had planted in her yard, that still bloom (God gave us memories so that we might have roses in December...even though it's not quite December), but the flowers just remind me of her beauty, inside and out. So, Joseph tells me he wants to pick one for me, and I said sure, but only pick one. He brought me a rose, pink and yellow, the colors were gorgeous. I know there's a specific name for this rose, but I'm not the one to ask about that. I was admiring it's beauty, and of course I had to smell it. I WISH right now, I had a scratch and sniff blog, so you could smell this flower...it was heavenly. I smelled it all the way home, and have lifted it up to smell it several times since, it smells SO good. It's like I remember how good it smelled, and I don't believe it was quite that good, so I have to prove it to myself by smelling it again, and it never fails, it smells SO GOOD! Scratch and Sniff, people!



Also, a while back he went to his grandparents and came home with these sticks. I asked him, "Do you really need to bring those home? They look sharp and scary, I'd rather you leave them here". "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM, I carved these for you!" "You carved these, from wood, with a knife, on your own?" "YES!" "Wow, you are one talented child, I need to see if we can find a wood carving class for you...although those sharp points still scare me".





That's my (little) man, people!

All the little ponies...

A few weeks back, my sweet friend, Melissa, invited us out to her in-laws barn/land to see some new colts. Except for Andrew, Isabel and Joseph have never really been in this kind of environment...and they loved it. The weather was perfect that day, everyone was in a good mood, and it was a great time! The horses were beautiful, and the baby colts were adorable. My favorite was when this HUGE horse (forgot his name) kept reaching his nose/mouth through the gate and unlatching it, he wanted to come out and play! Fortunately, they knew this horse like to do that, and they had it wired shut so he couldn't get out. They said that a while back, not only did he let himself out, but opened another horses pin as well, and they went off gallivanting around. I got a kick out of that. Anyway, here are some pics from the day...
















Such fun...and they finally got to put their boots that their Mimi got them for Christmas to good use!

Broken arms...well, kind of...

Isabel had been obsessed with having a broken arm lately. One of her little friends from school broke her arm a few weeks ago, and I'm pretty sure that's where they obsession came from. We have been wrapping it up in a "cast". Then, yesterday while Izzy was playing with Rissa (my niece) they decided to puts casts on, and then my dad ripped up old dish towels and made "slings" for them. They LOVED it. I explained to Izzy, it's ok to pretend, but she would not really want to break her arm. I told her how painful it was for Joseph when it happened to him a few years ago, and that she would NOT like it if it was real. She wanted to sleep in the get-up and wear it to school today, which I would NOT allow, and she threw a fit. She even insisted on putting her "sling" in her backpack (hey, you have to pick and choose your battles)! I took this pic with my phone, so it's super bad quality, but they were so cute and having such a good time, I couldn't resist!

Egg Hunt 2010

Vacation in Paradise

I could really use a vacation. However, I'm quite sure, given the current situations, that isn't gonna happen anytime soon. And I'm OK with that, but a girl can dream, right? There are TONS of places I would love to go and see, to visit. Tons. For a while though, my "dream" vacation has been Greece. Why? I'm not exactly sure. In pictures the water looks GORGEOUS. The landscape and building look fabulous, it all looks clean and crisp, natural yet a bit lux without being over the top. It seems like everyone would be tan, and of course I'd be tan, too, just because, ya know, I'd be in Greece. It seems laid back, which is SO opposite of life here. It just seems like a fabulous, beautiful, special place to go. The other day I was thinking about how fab it would be if I were to go to Greece, then I got to thinking about how God made Greece. The water, the terrain, the people...He made it what it is, He dreamed it up and made it happen, all of it. So, then I was thinking about how, if he made a beautiful place like that, here on Earth, Holy Lord what must Heaven be like? He promises it to be perfect, wayyy better than Earth, and while this place can be crazy, it's also full of beauty. I think of all the wonders and beauty He put on this Earth for us to enjoy, then I imagine this is just a small taste, it can't be anything compared to the Paradise that awaits us. I know I can't even wrap my mind around it, but I trust and know it will be beyond wonderful...beyond my wildest, most vibrant dreams. WOW. WOW. WOW!!! I am so thankful I serve such a good God. Who knows, one day before my time on Earth is up, it's possible, I may visit Greece. But, if I never set foot over there, I KNOW I have Heaven waiting on me, I don't have to be good enough, just saved, and I don't have to be rich enough, and I don't have to store up brownie points to get in. So, I'll continue to dream and wish and hope, but it's enough just knowing Paradise is in my future...MORE than enough. The ultimate dream vacation awaits those who believe! Woohoooooo!

Easter, etc...

We had Easter @ our house, and up until the day before, I didn't even know what to cook...I went from pulled pork to brisket, to grilling burgers...and ended up with sandwiches and finger foods...NO cooking except the chocolate pies David made. Everyone brought stuff, so we shared the "burden", and we had tons of eggs for the kids to hunt. It was really a good get together. I thought about all the other years/times I've stressed over get togethers...yea, not worth it. Being unexpectedly pregnant with #4 and the thought of David being laid off from work in a couple months constantly looms in my mind...it makes the little things, like what we are going to eat for get togethers, seem just that...little, unimportant, definitely not worth stressing over. I mean, I definitely want to get together with family, just don't have the energy to stress over it. Church was fantabulous (as always) for our Easter service. David and I were nipping at each other that morning, and I thought what a great attitude to have on Easter Sunday, totally ashamed of my attitude. After church, my husband apologized, and so did I, it was a great day.

So, I am 4 months pregnant, starting my 5th month and in 3 weeks the Dr. is going to try and tell us what we are having. Hopefully baby will cooperate. I am bummed about not getting to add some more space onto the house right now. We are going to have to wait with everything going on with David's job, and I know it's the right decision, but we are already tight on space, and I have to admit, it bothers me. TRYING to be thankful. Thankful. Thankful for every blessing.

Right now I should be putting clean laundry away (and washing more dirty laundry), but I needed a vent session, a release, so here I sit, typing away. I woke up missing my G-ma and Mamaw incredibly bad. I take such comfort knowing they are hanging out with Him, on streets of gold, but, Dear God, I miss them. I feel like sitting and talking with them, sharing a pot of coffee or lunch, just enjoying time with them, would do a world of good for me right now, but I know that isn't possible. I know I have them in my heart, and they have me in theirs, so that will have to suffice.

Hope you all had a super blessed Easter, as Pastor Jason said...You can go visit the tomb/remains of Muhammad, Buddha, etc (sp?), but you can't visit the tomb of Jesus Christ, because He is Risen. He is a living, true God!! Blessings :-)

So, today I was purchasing stuff for the kids' Easter basket. As I stood in the checkout line, I thought to myself, "how did it come to this". Easter is my favorite holiday. Jesus dies for our sins, he took our wretched place, and he did it gladly, without bragging or "look what I'm doing for you"...I think He felt/feels a true compassion and love for us. No, I know He does. He loves us. He loves me. He loves my children. He loves my parents. He loves people I do not love. He loves the unlovable. He is good, and perfect. So, Easter is to celebrate the amazing thing Jesus did for us, to remember He died on the cross, and He rose three days later. He rose from the grave, for us. So, as I was purchasing the candy and trinkets, I felt ashamed. The same way I feel at Christmas when I'm buying gifts. It's not that I think Jesus really cares if we fill an Easter basket for our kids, or buy gifts at Christmas, because I don't think He does. What bothers me, is I think most people, including myself, place more emphasis on the gift part, than the important part, the real part, the God part. Sure, we talk about Jesus' birth, and Him dying for our sins, but most of those holidays are spent doing "human" stuff. I am ashamed that I fall in with the crowds when it comes to this. I want to honor and worship Him, and let the gifts and goodies be a side note, instead of the opposite. I will continue to fill baskets and stockings, unless I am otherwise convicted at a later date, but I will also put even MORE emphasis on what Jesus has done for us, and continues to do daily. Because of Him, my children, my loved ones, and myself have a spot in Heaven that is ready for the taking, all we have to do is open our hearts. Happy Easter to all!