Truths, part 1

I love and serve a King…The King…Jesus.

I am a wife and mother of four children.

I have been with my husband for over 17 years, though not married that whole time, and it’s insane to think I have spent more of my life on Earth with him, rather than without him.

When I tell people we have four children, I go back and forth between feeling confident about it and between people thinking I must be nuts, and feeling the need to explain that number #4 happened after a vasectomy that “healed itself.” It’s not that I am not TOTALLY IN LOVE with our sweet #4, I guess I just get too caught up worrying about what other people think sometimes.

I think it’s important to be a submissive wife. I used to totally disagree with this, but as I have grown in my faith, I have changed my views on this. I usually don’t like to bring this up unless I have time to really discuss it, because just the idea of it freaks some people out. I get it…I do. I’ll cover more on this in another post.

I will never understand how parents have “favorites”. Well, maybe as children turn into adults, and things sometimes go awry, I guess I can see where that might become the case…but for the most part, I don’t get it. I truly feel my love for my children is equal, although do love different things about each one.

I like to pretend I am more emotionally balanced than I really am. I can be quite cranky...and moody. It’s embarrassing.

I’m ADD. ADHD. Whatever. I own it, and I am working on it. I also have children that I I have passed this onto, or however that works. It’s a huge part of who I am, which I used to ignore but have come to terms with lately, and those close to me have to hear me talk about it, a LOT…I’m trying to learn how to be successful with it.

I long to be organized and an amazing housekeeper, but I am terrible at it. In fact, I think it has come between friendships. I sometimes won’t get close to people because of the ADD and the messiness of my life. It makes me sad, because I love getting to know people and their hearts…

I like to think I am thankful and content with what I have. And I am…to a point. In all honesty I have come a LONG way in this area, but just not far enough yet. I grew up a spoiled brat. I have slowly but surely had to recognize that material things are NOT “where it’s at”. I still struggle. I truly am thankful for my OVERFLOWING blessings, but this is just still an area I need help in.

I was a stay-at-home mom for years, and now I’m really not. My husband got laid off and now I work part time and attend school part time. I really like both, but it is incredibly hard to find the right balance with all the roles in my life. For some reason I feel too ashamed to tell people I work, even though many women do it. I’m not sure why. I think because I think moms, if at all possible, should stay home and raise their babies, and that is not my role at the current time.


…”Truths” part 2 will be my next post!