Oops...I did it again!

I did it again...let my blog get away from me!
Changes continue to rule our family's life!
I left my part-time job. I only worked for a few months, but between a family, school, etc...it was too much! I missed being an "at home" Mom. Of course, with David being laid off, finances are very tight, but things are going ok...and I trust with God watching over us, they will continue to improve as He sees fit. I just got done reading "Kisses from Katie." That book is Uhh-Maze-ING! If you read, AT ALL, go get a copy. I downloaded the Kindle version for myself, and I see it as a book I will end up reading several times. I will share more thoughts about this book and the emotions/thoughts/etc that it stirred up in me :)
For now, I am back in full swing at school. One of my courses is College Algebra...a class I have put off as LONG as possible. I usually do the minimum in each class, and get an "A". With Algebra, I would be happy just to pass. I studied HOURS for our first test and almost passed out when I got my grade back...a 101!!!!! Woohooo!
This week, we have had a couple of sick kids in the house. I ended up taking Isabel and Blake in because of high fevers (Blake's got up to about 103 and Izzy's got over 104!) and a couple of other unusual symptoms...they did some bloodwork and concluded that it's a viral infection. I'm THANKFUL it's not anything more complicated, but of course with a virus, antibiotics don't help, so it just has to run it's course. Today they seem to both be feeling better, not great, but better. I'm just hoping the rest of us in the house stay healthy.
We had a couple of BEAUTIFUL weather days. I noticed my mood was MUCH improved. I've decided I think the yucky winter weather is one of the things that is kind of bringing me down...I can't wait for Spring!!!
For the most part, our family is doing well. "Even when I'm stressed, I'm blessed!"

Truths, part 2

Truths…continued.

I realize I ended rather abruptly on my last post, what can I say? Life with four kids, a hubs, and a dog can be crazy!

Anyway…

So, every New Year I start the One Year Bible…I think it is an amazing way to read through it. The problem is that I have NEVER finished it. That’s ok, though, one day I will!

I like to eat. I abuse food sometimes. Sad, but true.

I love the internet. I also hate it. I think it is a fabulous, modern tool that can be used for So many things. I also realize it can suck hours from each day without me ever knowing how quickly time was wasting away. It also keeps me from doing my laundry.


I am not a big drinker. In fact, I’m not much of a drinker at all. I won’t say I never, ever have an alcoholic beverage, but it’s rare.

I suffer from migraines. This is where things get sticky for me when I’m trying hard to be thankful for my life and all its blessings. I know people have it way worse than migraines, so I shouldn’t complain. But I do complain. They hurt like heck and they are PURE misery. The world has to go away when I have one. You will rarely see me post of facebook, “I have a migraine.” You might see “I’m getting a migraine” or “I just got over a migraine”. But if I actually have one, I can’t be on the computer. My Mamaw told me one day when she was still alive, “A migraine….humph…I had a headache one time, I think”. I cannot imagine MAYBE having had a headache one day of my life.

Speaking of my Mamaw…I miss her and my other grandmother, my G-ma, like crazy. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it many more times…I miss them SO much, so when I hear about people loosing parents, siblings, and especially their children…I can’t even go there, I truly can’t imagine how much it hurts.

I love asparagus.

I love artwork, all kinds.

I have a special talent. I think it’s called “show me a whole room full of shoes (purses, jewelry, clothes, gadgets, or whatever else you want to insert here) and I will pick out the most expensive one”. This talent actually really annoys me. It’s terrible to always like the most expensive things, and never be able to purchase them. Haha.

A list of things most commonly lost items at our house (no particular order): Socks, shoes, silverware, fingernail clippers, tweezers, and keys.

I love, love, love to travel. These days I rarely get to indulge in that love, though. The beach, Mexico, New York City…I’ll take any of them. I wish I could take my family around the world. There are three places I often daydream about…Greece, Austria, and thought it isn’t an actual place, a Disney cruise. I just keep reminding myself that Heaven is going to be way better than any of those places.

Ok, truth be told, there are a million more truths about myself. Duh. But, I'm tired and I can't imagine more than two posts on this...

Oh! One more…I love to blog and I love to read blogs (when time permits)!!!

Truths, part 1

I love and serve a King…The King…Jesus.

I am a wife and mother of four children.

I have been with my husband for over 17 years, though not married that whole time, and it’s insane to think I have spent more of my life on Earth with him, rather than without him.

When I tell people we have four children, I go back and forth between feeling confident about it and between people thinking I must be nuts, and feeling the need to explain that number #4 happened after a vasectomy that “healed itself.” It’s not that I am not TOTALLY IN LOVE with our sweet #4, I guess I just get too caught up worrying about what other people think sometimes.

I think it’s important to be a submissive wife. I used to totally disagree with this, but as I have grown in my faith, I have changed my views on this. I usually don’t like to bring this up unless I have time to really discuss it, because just the idea of it freaks some people out. I get it…I do. I’ll cover more on this in another post.

I will never understand how parents have “favorites”. Well, maybe as children turn into adults, and things sometimes go awry, I guess I can see where that might become the case…but for the most part, I don’t get it. I truly feel my love for my children is equal, although do love different things about each one.

I like to pretend I am more emotionally balanced than I really am. I can be quite cranky...and moody. It’s embarrassing.

I’m ADD. ADHD. Whatever. I own it, and I am working on it. I also have children that I I have passed this onto, or however that works. It’s a huge part of who I am, which I used to ignore but have come to terms with lately, and those close to me have to hear me talk about it, a LOT…I’m trying to learn how to be successful with it.

I long to be organized and an amazing housekeeper, but I am terrible at it. In fact, I think it has come between friendships. I sometimes won’t get close to people because of the ADD and the messiness of my life. It makes me sad, because I love getting to know people and their hearts…

I like to think I am thankful and content with what I have. And I am…to a point. In all honesty I have come a LONG way in this area, but just not far enough yet. I grew up a spoiled brat. I have slowly but surely had to recognize that material things are NOT “where it’s at”. I still struggle. I truly am thankful for my OVERFLOWING blessings, but this is just still an area I need help in.

I was a stay-at-home mom for years, and now I’m really not. My husband got laid off and now I work part time and attend school part time. I really like both, but it is incredibly hard to find the right balance with all the roles in my life. For some reason I feel too ashamed to tell people I work, even though many women do it. I’m not sure why. I think because I think moms, if at all possible, should stay home and raise their babies, and that is not my role at the current time.


…”Truths” part 2 will be my next post!

Yeah...about that...

I have obviously fallen off of the blogging wagon. I miss it. I used to be pretty consistent, but life has just gotten in the way the past couple of months. I went from bring pretty much a stay at home mom, to working and going to school (each part time, which EQUALS full time). Most days, I'm not sure if I am coming or going. We have had a ton of life changes lately, and I am still adjusting. I am hoping to get this blog up and running again. Although, my handful of readers probably abandoned the wagon all-together by now. We may have to start from scratch. Anyway, here I am. I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas holiday and New year...we did! Blake was actually able to participate in opening presents, and it was super cute :) This month, Joseph will turn 11 and next month, Izzy will turn 7. Whoa! A 15 yr old, 11 yr old, 7 yr old, and 1 yr old....who planned it this way??? I must say, being a stay at home Mom was NOT close to easy...but now that I am "out of the house" so much, I really do miss it. I am exhausted all the time, there is never enough time for everything that needs to be done (and I'm not a great prioritizer as it is!), and I am constantly questioning the decisions I make. I feel a bit uneasy about this new way of life, but thankfully God is a constant. Stay tuned for my next post, "truths about MY life"...

It's been a while...

So, I've been slacking on my posts. I haven't yet blogged about specific bday details for Blake and Andrew, or posted pics, but that will have to wait (FYI: It all went SPLENDIDLY). My heart is somewhere else tonight.

The Anniversary of 9/11. A child dying of Cancer. A friend's baby undergoing open heart surgery. Another precious friend's infant son hospitalized. A family member finding out they have Breast Cancer. A child in our town being hit and almost killed while riding his bike. A relatives step daughter being diagnosed with a disease that could destroy her liver. My great aunt being hospitalized. My family all being incredibly sick with a stomach bug at the same time (though pale in comparison to all the other stuff).
These are just the things I can remember off the top of my head that happened in the time frame of about the last month.
I feel like all around me, a storm is brewing. I can feel the heavy winds and rain, but it hasn't totally swept me up and carried me away, yet I feel like it could at any moment.
There are such scary and heartbreaking things going on in the world around me.
I start to get overwhelmed, and then I start talking myself down from the ledge.
"Ok, Katy, the very worst thing that could happen, is that you could die. If you die, then you are Heaven-bound, and that is good...no, that is Great. So, really, the worst thing that could happen, is good. So, no matter what, everything will be ok"
Yes, this is really my logic. Yes, really.
It may sound crazy, but it actually makes sense. I believe in God's promise of Eternity. I know this life is full of suffering, trials, and constant change...this is all so we will lean on Him. So we will draw near to Him. I get that. I do. But life on Earth is hard, and scary, and we are just human.
I remind myself that in our weakness, He is made perfect. When I am scared, He is perfect. When I feel alone, He is perfect. When I am unsure, He is perfect. When I am desperate and crying out, He is perfect. He is more than capable to handle anything that comes our way. That is such a comfort to my heart.
I guess my point here, is that there are so many sad things happening around me, and truthfully, I don't want to be next. Then again, who does? I mean, I am constantly going through trials, but I just don't want "something big" to come my way. I don't want to suffer. But I know if anything like that happens, He has got my back.
I want to be thankful for adversity, for through it I am blessed. I am made stronger, my character is built.
Thank you, Jesus, for stressful days with my kids...it means I have my children here with me.
Thank you, Jesus, for a mortgage and utility bills and a car payment...it shows I have a roof over my family's head with heat and running water...and a vehicle to get us to school, work, doctor appts, the grocery store, etc.
Thank you, Jesus, that I miss my husband and feel lonely at night...He has a job and is able to provide for us.
Thank you, Jesus, for homework deadlines...I am able to go back to school to try and better myself.
Thank you, Jesus, for disagreements with friends, siblings, and parents...it means we are comfortable enough with each other to speak our minds, even if it gets a little heated at times, and we are able to forgive each other and start again.
Thank you, Jesus, for discomforts and hurts and struggles...they bring me closer to you...and there is absolutely no place I'd rather be.

9/11

It's certainly past my bedtime, but I'm not tired yet. Maybe it's the sugar-filled soda I had earlier...but I think it's something else. Today is the anniversary of September 11, 2001. I watched one documentary on that day, this morning, and had to turn the tv off. 10 years later, it's still overwhelming. I can't remember every thought, but I know that when that all happened, I was scared. I was scared about what else might happen. When it would happen. Where it would happen. Would we be killed by terrorists? What kind of world had I brought my children into?

I think most parents, at some point, think that. Don't they?
There are times when I want to shut myself and my family, off from the world. I want to home school. And grow our own food. I want to be self sufficient. I want to live in a bubble. It sounds silly to say it out loud, or see it written down. And some of those things I would like to do, even if I didn't think this world was a crazy place. But, it's just an overwhelming feeling to want to protect those you love, most especially your children.

I'm glad I don't have the option to freeze time, because I probably would. It's a daily reminder I have to give myself, "We are raising our children to be responsible, successful adults. They won't be your babies forever. They won't be at home, under your wing, forever."
Why can't they stay little?


Anyway, I think all this "9/11" stuff has just pulled those feelings back up to the surface. The need to protect. The need to shelter my babies.
I know I can't...not forever, at least. I know God can, though.


I thank God for those that protect our country, because they are also protecting my children. I am so proud of the brave men and women that sacrificed on 9/11. I am proud Americans know how to come together in a such a time. I am so sorry, so saddened for those that lost loved ones. I am truly thankful, that I don't know what that feels like, yet so burdened for those that carry that hurt.
My heart aches for Mommies who couldn't protect their babies, even if their babies were grown men and women.

I remember when and where I was when the planes crashed. I will never forget, not only those details, but also what 9/11 stands for. What we lost, and how we united. I pray we never see a day like that again. I pray my children never see a day like that again. God bless, comfort, and protect...

One & Fifteen

Blake is walking! He took his first steps several weeks ago, yet he didn't progress like I thought he would. We found out he had an ear infection, so I thought after we got rid of it, and his balance was back to normal, he would take off walking. Nope. Well, I don't know, maybe. But he finished his meds a couple weeks ago and it was just this last week that he really started walking. It's So cute. Any milestone like this is always bittersweet...amazing to see him grow, sad that it happens so incredibly fast! This next week, he will be turning a year old. It seems like all the drama of finding out I was pregnant after my husband had a vasectomy was just a few weeks ago. Yet, I've already gone through 9 months of pregnancy, given birth and now that baby, my precious Blake, is turning ONE YEAR OLD. Even crazier, this next week, my first born, is turning 15. Andrew is such an amazing kid, minus the teen attitude. He is in accelerated classes and makes good grades. He does sports. He could be nicer to Joseph and Isabel, for sure, but he is SUPER sweet with Blake. Being a parent is for sure the toughest job I have ever had in my whole life, but it's also the most rewarding.

Andrew's birthverse:
Psalm 9:10 NIV
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.




Blake's birthverse:
2 Corinthians 9:8 NIV
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.



Precious Father, thank you for my two of my most amazing blessings, Andrew and Blake. Thank you for equiping me with what I need to be their Mom. Please protect them and guide them always. Please let them always know how much they are loved by their parents and by You. In the Holy Name of Jesus, Amen.