Busy Week...

This past week has been incredibly busy for our family! The boys started back to school which was very exciting. Joseph started 2nd grade and is in Mrs. Barnett's class. Andrew started 6th grade and has seven different teachers! He is still getting used to having a locker, switching to so many different classes/teachers, keeping up with his stuff, etc, etc. They both had a really great week, as did my nieces, Seirra and Brelan.
Here is a pic of the boys on their first day...Joseph has a crazy look on his face and he just lost his two front teeth, but hey, I'm lucky to have this one because neither one of them wanted to take a picture!

Also, Andrew and my niece, Seirra, had their first school dance @ Crockett Friday night. I didn't stay to chaperon, but trust me, I had my spies :-). I was told, by Andrew himself, and by others, that he pretty much boogied down the whole time...wasn't shy at all. My niece, however, was quite the opposite...she said she was too embarrassed to dance so she just talked to friends. Andrew had his first slow dance...I'll post pics later once I get them from another mom. They all had a blast, it is all they have talked about since then! I think it made them feel independent and kinda grown up...good for them, scary for me.





Didn't they look so so cute! Of course, Andrew did NOT want to smile for the pictures, he too "tough" for that now, ya know :-)
Other events of the week included my nieces getting some press on nails and they insisted Isabel get some, too. At first I thought she was too little, but then I decided it was the weekend and they would probably fall off in a few hours, so I decided to let them put them on her. Izzy LOVED the nails...it was hilarious to see her in them. Although, I just about beat (not really) my niece because instead of using the stick-on's that came with Izzy's nails, she used her nail glue and glued the fake nails to her real nails...UGGGHHH. I was so ANNOYED, to say the least. But, the nails didn't even last a day, so I forgave her and all was well again...

The day before she decided to dress up in her brother's house shoes, shooting vest, and boxing gloves...she looks pretty ridiculous, but it made me laugh, so...

And I had to throw this one in just because she's so cute...

This one is actually from a couple weeks ago when we went to Kristi's house. Isabel loves to play with her youngest, Tate. He had a little motorcycle and even though there was only room for one, they made it into a two-seater...haha. They took turns driving around the house.

That pretty much sums it up picture wise. I am already missing subbing this year...I miss those little faces, and being at home I can't really say my house is much cleaner, but hey, let's give it a little more time. And on the positive side, I did cook dinner every night...yes, that is a big deal for me, & David is totally impressed. So, I am looking forward to next week in hopes that I will be able to get even more done now that we are on somewhat of a schedule.

Thank you God for getting us through this busy, hectic week..this whole crazy summer, or year for that matter...for never removing your mighty, graceful hand from our lives, even though we fail you daily...
be Blessed,
Katy

DUE 7:9
Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God,
keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love
him and keep his commands.

If You Give a Pig a Pancake...

Good morning to all...
I know, the title is strange, but stay with me until the end.
I'm going to warn you that I am in a bit of an emotional state as I write this, but, I am not depressed, by any means. I've had a hard time lately, and know my posts reflect that...I know other's have gone though this too, and worse things,which lets me know that things will be fine...I hope my blog isn't depressing to anyone...it's just that this is like my journal for me to let things out, weather happy, sad, mad, or just plain tacky :-)

If you don't know her, or haven't heard me say, my Mamaw was THE BEST cook this side of the universe. Honest. Years ago, because of our family's many delicious recipes, my dad got the bright idea to make a family cookbook. What a perfect idea. Most women in the family got copies (it was years ago), but since I was still pretty young, I never got one. Plus, I did have a hard copy on my computer of all the recipes, so I never worried about it. My Mamaw had the "prized copy", the most loved, well worn copy. Because I didn't have a cookbook, I got to have hers after she passed away a couple weeks ago (I can't believe it's already been 21 days...
To say I was happy to get Her cookbook, would be an understatement to the fullest. Honestly though, her passing still doesn't feel that real, so for time being I put the cookbook away into the pantry. Last night, when everyone was asleep I got a hankering to get it out and look at it. You see, it's not just any cookbook...sure, it has the best recipes EVER filling it's pages, but it also has dedications, poems (all written by family members), pictures, etc. There are two pockets inside, and I found some obituaries that my Mamaw had saved, my Aunt Cora Mae, My great grandmother Mollie, etc...some very special people that my childhood memories are painted with. I didn't know those mementos were in there, which made it even more special. I only thought I was overwhelmed. Then. It. Hit. Me.
I was holding my Mamaw's cookbook, the one she had used hundreds of times, she had written on the pages, held it's cover, and thumbed through it over and over again. She had used those recipes to share her love and blessings with others. I realized her prints would always be on that book and that as I held it I was touching part of her, it was then that I became completely overwhelmed. I began to cry uncontrollably. I laid on the cookbook just trying to be with her (I know, I know, but it was what I felt at the time), I realized anyone peeping in my back window would think I had gone completely mad, down on my knees, grasping this cookbook, crying out...then I realized if they were peeping in my back window, they were the ones with the problem, so I proceeded. I was so desperate to talk to her one last time or hug her one last time, that I was ready to do just about anything (don't read too much into this)...all I could do was call out to her, trying to make myself believe that she just MIGHT answer me, after all, with GOD, anything is possible. And, though I never heard her voice, I felt GOD sitting beside me, I felt HIM really with me. I felt like His heart really was broken that mine was broken, as it is when you see your own child in such despair. I knew if He wanted he could do something to ease my pain, and He did. He reminded me that my Mamaw is celebrating an eternal life with Him, now...and it's more glorious that my earthly mind could ever imagine, and that I must trust GOD on that, and that even if she had the choice, she wouldn't come back to us...but wait patiently until we go to the place where she is.
So, for now, I am satisfied with that. I miss her. Also, My G-ma (my other grandmother) passed away last Labor Day, so the 1 yr. anniversary of her death is coming up Monday. I don't understand how a year has possibly passed since I have seen her.? I don't get it. However, I see her frequently in my dreams, and how do I know that's not real? To me, it is, I mean it feels like it is. And who's to tell me differently? Anyway, I just miss them both so very much. One thing I am happy about is I got to spend a lot of time with both of them, and they both knew how much I loved them.
This morning when Isabel and I got home from taking the boys to school, she made me come inside while she stood on the porch with her baby doll. She has started this thing...I have to come in, lock the door, and stand there until she rings the bell and I let her in, pretending she's company. So, this morning she rings the bell, and I ask, "Who is it"? "It's me", she replies. I open the door and say "Hello there, what a beautiful baby you have there". "This is my granddaughter, not my baby", she says. So I am thinking how she is the baby's grandmother, which reminds me that I don't have a grandmother anymore, which reminded me of last night, which made me sad all over again, which made me need to come and write this post and get it all out.
And you know what happens when you give a pig a pancake. :-)

I liked this & I stole it

I AM ...so many things…Whoa, soooo many things…but, I am most proud of being a mommy, so we’ll leave it at that.

I WANT... a honeymoon…”D” and I never got to have one…after 3 kids and 14 years of being together, I want one!

I HAVE ... had the most hectic, depressing summer yet in my 29 years of life, but God is good and I’m looking forward to making it up next year.

I WISH I COULD ...take in all the children who don’t have loving, caring parents…and care for them and feed them, and it’s true…dress them cute.

I HATE ...that I can't heal the world...that I don't have a magic wand I can wave everytime I come across someone in trouble/crisis...wouldn't that be so cool?

I FEAR ... never getting caught up on getting my digital pictures developed...seriously, I have about two years worth to do...

I HEAR ...that one day California is going to break off into the Pacific. But that’s cool…then the people that live there will live on an island.

I SEARCH ... for food that Joseph will eat. How normal is it that he is 7 ½ yrs. And wears a sz. 5…he’s sooooo picky.

I DON'T THINK ... I will ever get back into shape. I have no will power. Nope. None.

I REGRET ... that my parents weren’t Amish…because then I could have been Amish and I could live off the land and only have to rely on myself and I wouldn’t be so caught up in this material crap.

I LOVE ...my family, the holidays, and jeans that don’t cut off my circulation or shoes that don’t squish my fat feet

I ACHE FOR ... to stretch my arms around my grandmothers and be able to give them one last hug

I ALWAYS CRY ... when I hear music that reminds me of something I miss. Or when I hurt myself…

I AM NOT ... superwoman…not even close. Not even close to close.

I DANCE ... with my kids…and I look funny because I’m not good at it. But, they love me anyway…and that’s cool.

I SING ...in my car, to anything, but especially to worship music…it always makes me cry. Can’t help it.

I NEVER ...can catch the laundry up. I feel like it’s a joke someone is playing on me…I mean what came first, the housewife or the laundry?

I RARELY ...vacuum. because Joseph broke my freakin’ vacuum.

I CRY WHEN I WATCH ... oh Lord, just about anything…Man in the Moon, Selena, Where the heart is…

I AM NOT ALWAYS ... on-line, believe it or not, every now and again I tend to my children or clean the toilet or run to the post office…

I HATE THAT ...marijuana isn’t legal. Ok, that was a joke, because I really don’t think it should be legal…and before any rumors get started, No, I don’t smoke it.

I'M CONFUSED ABOUT ...most everything…especially how I always get that call saying that “This is your last notice/chance to renew your car’s warranty”… when #1) My car still has a warranty & #2) they have called me everyday for the last two years and have now started calling my cell…what up with that?

I NEED ...a massage, a maid, a break, and one of my babies to come in here and give me a really big hug…

I SHOULD ... remind you that you are more than welcome to steal this from me and do it on your blog. After all, I did. (And though I can't remember who I stole it from - I "thank you" nonetheless.)

Just today...

Today I feel like the normalcy of life is starting to creep back in. I guess it will never be the normal it was before, when I had both grandmothers here with me, but I am finding my way to a new normal.
I have been over to Mamaw's almost every day for one thing or another, and every time it breaks my heart as I walk up the driveway, and glance into the kitchen window where I would see her making tea, coffee, or cooking up a meal. As hard as it is, I am trying NOT to stay away. After my G-ma passed in September last year, I stayed away from her home, I couldn't face it, and the longer I stayed away...the harder it was to go back. So, with Mamaw's house I wanted to stay close so that it wouldn't get the way it has with G-ma's house. As my mom said, the house is still there, but the heart of the house is gone. What a true statement.
I went with my dad to the cemetery yesterday. I stared at the heap of dirt covering the plot where they buried her...I could not believe my Mamaw's body was underneath it all, down in the ground...it hurt me. I panicked for a moment. I had to keep reminding myself that it was just her body, and that SHE is in Heaven.
Once in Bible study, Dana (who was leading the study), asked if we ever grew impatient with the Lord...ever wondered why it was taking him so long to come and take us back home with Him. I thought to myself "What a funny question. I know I am saved and going to Heaven when my life here is done...I am not afraid to die, but I don't want to will it on...the Lord will come when HE is ready".
Well, I think I understand her question now. Mamaw was my grandmother, I was prepared to loose her eventually (so I thought), but it has been incredibly hard on me. I think...if I am barely making it through this loss, how will I ever bury my parents, or possibly my siblings, my husband, my friends,...and we won't even go any further than that. I mean yes, I could die tomorrow before any of them, but if I don't, how will I ever get through it? I think for the first time, I truly longed for Him to come and take us home. I truly longed for Him to physically pick me up and hold and comfort me and wipe away my tears...I want to just be with him...to be able to bask in His glory and not worry about anything else.
I thought how I would never have to go through the pain and hurt and sadness again if He could just come and take us all home.
With that being said, I am trusting in Him...to heal me, and to take me and the rest of us home...when HE is ready. So, I will try my best not to grow impatient with Him, I will pray for patience, and for His will to be done in this life I lead.

On another subject...One more week until school starts back, can you believe it? Yikes! I have had to work double time to get some school shopping done! With Mamaw being sick, and then her passing, funeral, etc...my summer and quality time with the boys has been cut short. I am NOT ready for school to start back...I usually am about to pull my hair out, but this year I just want some more time with them. Truly though, our family's schedule has gotten to a ridiculous point...well, actually, there is no schedule. So, I guess it's good school is starting back, because it will FORCE me to get a schedule going again for us. I will so miss having lunches with Mamaw and Isabel during school days while the boys are in class...Texas Belle...light lunch w/ chicken salad, frozen dessert, tortilla soup (chips on the side so they wouldn't get soggy)...I will miss ordering that for her. Wow. Hard to think about that.
Anyway, I am looking forward to a fresh schedule, and getting some things done around the house...it is in desperate need of some TLC. Desperate, I tell you.
All we need to finish the shop is to get those garage doors up, which have been forever in waiting. Then I wanted to work on adding a bedroom so the boys wouldn't have to share a room. Change of plans. I decided I want to close in the patio first. Our kitchen is beyond the word TINY! I have inherited Mamaw's prize kitchen table (memories abound with that table) and I don't have a big enough space for it...we were already considering it and this just spurred us on. So, since the boys will be sharing a little bit longer, I am going to redo the room they have now. I want new furniture, a really good desk space and some organization! Their room is the worst in the house...they are totally different ages, personalities, and sharing tight quarters...so if anyone has any good ideas, I'm open! I want them to have a fresh new, calm, organized space to promote a good school year...and some Zen (what does that word really mean and can I actually use it as a Christian??). Andrew needs all the help he can get, he is totally scatter brained just like me! Oh well...to each his own.
I am also in the mood to repaint my bathroom...not sure where all this is coming from, it's not even Spring?!
FYI...our dog has NEVER had fleas...after reading Amy's post I decided to check her...HOLY FREAKIN' COW...there was a flea on my beautifully groomed princess! What?!! I rushed for the flea dip and got to scrubbin' ...I was kickin' butt and takin' names. The shampoo says it kills fleas for "up to a month" HA! "up to..." that could actually be for a day...this week I WILL have her @ the Vet's office for some serious applications...Frontline has ALWAYS worked for us...but they may have to whip up some special extra strong concoction for her, cause I ain't down with no fleas. Anyone know anything better than frontline? Fill a sista in!
Ok, one last note...I did bring several plants from Mamaw's patio to mine. My Mamaw LOVED hummingbirds, and always had several around her house, yard. We have never had any out here. Well, when I brought the plants out, a hummingbird showed up and has stayed around. I am going to get one of her feeders from her house and put it out on the patio with the plants...hopefully the bird will stick around. It just hovers at the window and stares in at us. David told me it was Mamaw saying Hello...I LOVE that...Mamaw just dropping in to check on us. Plus, the day after I brought them out here, a beautiful Hibiscus bloomed...to some, these may be little things...but for some reason they help comfort me.
Ok, well, I guess I should go to bed now. Those of you with school aged children, I know this next week or so is going to be CRAZY ...so I pray the Lord blesses you with a smooth transition and that all of you get great teachers/classrooms and have a great school year.
Blessings & Love to you all...
~K

PS...Thank you SO much to those of you that have kept us in your thoughts and prayers and for your kind words of sympathy after Mamaw's passing...and to those special people that even came to Family/Friends or the funeral...you are too kind, and I am thankful for you. God Bless.

Earned her wings & flew to Heaven...

My Mamaw earned her wings & has flown straight to Heaven...
I am saddened, tearful, and at a loss...
but thankful for our time together, 29 1/2 glorious years.
We are all having a rough time, which is expected, please keep my little ones in your prayers, as it hurts me even more to see how upset they are and just trying to comprehend it all...

I wanted to share her obituary, my great uncle wrote it and I thought he did a sweet job...




Pauline (Sis) Jamar Carter
August 6, 2008

PAULINE “Sis” JAMAR CARTER 83, of Paris, went home to be with the Lord at 7:30 PM, August 6, 2008 at her home. She rejoined her husband of 37 years of marriage. A funeral service will be held at 10:00 AM, Saturday, August 9, 2008 in the chapel of Fry-Gibbs Funeral Home with Rev. Jason Duff of Calvary Chapel and Rev. Wayne Gadman of Immanuel Baptist Church officiating. Burial will follow at Rockford Cemetery in Biardstown. The family will receive friends from 6:00-7:00 PM Friday evening at the funeral home. Fry-Gibbs Funeral Home has charge of the arrangements.

Mrs. Carter was born in Soper, Oklahoma on September 14, 1924 a daughter of Bill and Mollie Legate Jamar. She married C.L. “Joe” Carter of Richmond, Virginia on January 19, 1946 in Paris. He preceded her in death on June 10, 1983. She was retired from UARCO Business Systems and was a member of Immanuel Baptist Church.

Mrs. Carter was preceded in death by her parents and one sister, Patsy Ruth Jamar.

She is survived by one son, Phillip Carter of Paris; one daughter, Paula Griffin and husband, George of Paris; four grandchildren, Stacey Johnson, Brandon Carter, Joshua Johnson, and Katy Ibarra and husband, David, all of Paris; seven great-grandchildren, Megan Janeway, Jesse Berry, Elizabeth Carter, Andrew, Joseph, and Isabel Ibarra, and Madisyn Johnson, all of Paris; one great-great-grandchild, Maci Carter Walker; two brothers, Robert Jamar and wife, Edna and Jack Jamar and wife, Haze; and three sisters, “Tink” Russo and husband, A.W., Billie Blankinship and husband, “Hack”, and Mary Jamar Hilyer and husband, Chet, all of the Paris area.

“Sis” “ Mamaw” Carter lived her life in a very special way. She was the anchor for so many. Everyone was welcome in her home; no one was ever a stranger. She had a unique facet about her; she always found good in every one. She always had her faith in God and her undying love for her family. She had a calming effect on everyone who knew her. She also loved her little four legged friends. They were an integral part of her life and she cared for them as she would her children.

She will always have a place in the hearts of her family and in the hearts of so many who knew and loved her. For us as family, she will never be forgotten and will always be missed and loved. “Sis” as we on this earth say goodbye, we know the Lord, Joe, Bill, Mollie, and Patsy Ruth are saying hello and welcome home!

Pallbearers will be Greg Raper, Jayson Coward, Bart Jamar, Randy Morrison, Jodi Birdsong, and Oliver “Ollie” Kessel.

[send sympathy message]
www.fry-gibbs.com

Psalms

~Mamaw & me~


Hey everyone!
I know it hasn't been that long since my last post, but for me it has, considering I am a blog/email junkie..lol. I have been trying to spend as much time with Mamaw as possible. Every day I look at her, and see the state she is in, I talk about it with family and friends, and I even blog about it here...but it still doesn't seem real. It feels like tomorrow she will be up in her easy chair waiting to go to Texas Belle for a lite lunch. But she won't.
Mamaw's health continues to fail, and though I know God continues to be in control, I am still so very sad and scared. I feel helpless.
I decided to look up a verse in Psalms.

Psalms 43:5
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

And found this, which helped me some...
Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary

43:6-11 The way to forget our miseries, is to remember the God of our mercies. David saw troubles coming from God's wrath, and that discouraged him. But if one trouble follow hard after another, if all seem to combine for our ruin, let us remember they are all appointed and overruled by the Lord. David regards the Divine favour as the fountain of all the good he looked for. In the Saviour's name let us hope and pray. One word from him will calm every storm, and turn midnight darkness into the light of noon, the bitterest complaints into joyful praises. Our believing expectation of mercy must quicken our prayers for it. At length, is faith came off conqueror, by encouraging him to trust in the name of the Lord, and to stay himself upon his God. He adds, And my God; this thought enabled him to triumph over all his griefs and fears. Let us never think that the God of our life, and the Rock of our salvation, has forgotten us, if we have made his mercy, truth, and power, our refuge. Thus the psalmist strove against his despondency: at last his faith and hope obtained the victory. Let us learn to check all unbelieving doubts and fears. Apply the promise first to ourselves, and then plead it to God.

I know I am still going to be down...sad...somewhat despaired (or maybe a lot)...maybe even just depressed...but! I know it will be ok, I know God will pull my Mamaw through (even if that means going to be in Heaven with Him), and I know He will pull the rest of us through, too.
So, with that in mind, I am done for tonight...I'm tired.
I hope you are all doing great and being blessed by the Lord.
Hope to catch up with/see you all soon!

Luvs,
~K