Ok, same story, different day. I'm not sure when I will stop missing my grandmothers..."never" sounds like a pretty accurate guess, though. It astounds me as I imagine how much I miss them, then wonder about those who have lost parents, siblings, and even worse, (deep breath here) children. How can they EVER move forward? God bless them.
Anyway, in years past, we split our Thanksgivings (and every other holiday)...half the day at my Mamaws and half of it at my G-ma's. This last year or two I really don't even remember what we have done to celebrate, it's like we have all been stumbling along, trying to make sense of how to go on. Holidays are especially hard. Anyway, I know my grandmothers would want us to continue gathering and celebrating as a family, but, Lord, how we miss them. Everything flowed with them here, everything came together perfectly, the food, the decorations, the people, everything just...made sense. I am completely inept, I am not good at orchestrating a gathering...I can't cook like them, I can't plan with such ease and grace, I don't have the patience and easy going manner that they did. Either way, we must go forward. So, this year, Thanksgiving is at my house. Wow. Everyone will chip in and bring certain dishes (I could never do it all on my own), and my place is somewhat cramped, I hate cleaning. But, I feel led to do this. Even if our holidays can't be as graceful as when "they" were here, we will move forward, with the beautiful examples that have been set for us. We have something to help guide us, to set us in the right direction, something to work towards. Maybe one day, when I'm older and a bit gray, my grandchildren will speak the same words about me. I don't see it that way, but I hope for it. I am ever so thankful that I have/had those ladies as an example. Life was never promised to be easy, but He is always here with us, and He knows best.
So, I have two days to prepare. Yikes! Today I helped with a Thanksgiving feast at Isabel's school, and then at Joseph's. I saw all the children's faces...some I pictured a beautiful Thanksgiving day in their future...and some I wondered if they would have any family that cared about them on Thanksgiving, much less a Thanksgiving meal prepared for them. For some of them, today was it. My heart somewhat broke knowing that. So, all the pondering I've done today, again, has made me thankful for what I do have. I'm doing my best not to focus on what I don't have, but look for the positive things in our lives. My family may drive me crazy (and I them :-), I may not want to cook and clean...but, the fact is...I'm thankful I have a home to invite people to, and family that will come. I'm thankful I have health, and a more than capable body that I can clean and cook with. I'm thankful to have beautiful people from my past that have given me knowledge about which way to go. Thankful...and then some.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Soul Food...not the edible kind
Today I went to visit (with my aunt and mom, even though it's my dad's side of the family) the cemetery. It was a perfect, crisp, Fall day.
I wanted to see my Mamaw's headstone (now combined with my Papa Joe's who passed away when I was just a little girl)and have a little visit with her, and the other family that are buried there. Even though it's sad, because you miss your loved ones so much, it's helpful to be able to have a "place" where you can visit them and let your emotions out. My other grandmother, who I miss equally as much, chose to be cremated, so I've yet to decide on a "spot" that's comfortable to visit her. While my heart ached to see her (them), the visit brought back SO many great memories. It was really a blessing. I got to pick out the verse for my Mamaw & Papa Joe's stone, and I am comforted by the one I chose, and that everyone agreed to go with it.
There's not enough room on all of Blogger for me to tell how great a woman my Mamaw was, or what a blessing she was to me/us (both of my grandmothers were glorious women, as a matter of fact). She was an awesome cook, she was always there when you needed her (no matter how much you'd messed up), always there to help out and to forgive. She was a strong woman. My Papa Joe was a good man. I don't have as many memories of him, but remember he did magic tricks and used to do them to make a candy bar appear before dinner, but we weren't supposed to tell anyone! He loved those squishy orange peanuts (I didn't inherit that love from him) and had a big orange recliner, he loved orange. How blessed am I? You don't have to answer, I already know :-)
Papa Joe was a World War 2 Veteran...
Mollie and Bill were my great grandparents. I don't remember Bill, but remember Mollie as an anchor to our family. I never heard her say a whole lot, but I remember her always there, quiet and strong. I remember Christmastime at her house...playing with cousins, opening gifts, eating the best food in the world, and no worries...When she passed, my Mamaw took her place as the anchor in our family...
Aunt Katy & Uncle Dell...honestly, I don't remember them, I was just a baby when the passed, but they are still very special to me. They died within the same year, I think they loved each other so much, they just couldn't live without one another. I was named after Aunt Katy. While you hear mixed stories about people, good and bad...I've never heard anything but good, no, great things about my great aunt and uncle. I've heard Aunt Katy was the best baker ever, and was famous for her cooking. Lots of people knew them, and thought the world of them. Uncle Dell was a carpenter, and there are many pieces still around that he made...a talented man. So, I'm thankful that I'm an extension of these two...
Ahh, Aunt Cora Mae. My great aunt. She lived a few blocks away from my Mamaw. My cousin and I used to walk down to visit her quite a bit. She lived in an average home, but when you stepped through the front door, it was something special. She had a yippy little dog, and rode around in her electric wheel chair (which didn't slow her down). Her home was full of collectibles, antiques, and fancy things. It looked like a victorian museum. While she did ask us to be careful, she was so good to us, she let us two wild heathens in to her home to play. There was never a speck of dust on her porcelain figures and her cushions on her furniture were always fluffed to perfection. Good memories...
I got a shot of the marker for my great aunt that I never met, she was my Mamaw's little sister...she died when she was only four. I remember hearing Mamaw talk about her...they are together again...
I had cousins that passed away as babies, and I didn't get pictures of all of them, but I did get one of my cousin Abby's headstone. She and I were almost the same age. She passed away a couple years ago. I have so many memories with her in them, especially holidays spent running around playing with her. I pray her parents can continue to find some peace until it's time to see her again...
All in all, it was a good day. Sad, but good. The truth is, I could go on for hours reliving memories. But, I just wanted to share a little. Today, my soul really was fed, I feel good, I felt a small measure of healing today..that's a good thing.
I wanted to see my Mamaw's headstone (now combined with my Papa Joe's who passed away when I was just a little girl)and have a little visit with her, and the other family that are buried there. Even though it's sad, because you miss your loved ones so much, it's helpful to be able to have a "place" where you can visit them and let your emotions out. My other grandmother, who I miss equally as much, chose to be cremated, so I've yet to decide on a "spot" that's comfortable to visit her. While my heart ached to see her (them), the visit brought back SO many great memories. It was really a blessing. I got to pick out the verse for my Mamaw & Papa Joe's stone, and I am comforted by the one I chose, and that everyone agreed to go with it.
There's not enough room on all of Blogger for me to tell how great a woman my Mamaw was, or what a blessing she was to me/us (both of my grandmothers were glorious women, as a matter of fact). She was an awesome cook, she was always there when you needed her (no matter how much you'd messed up), always there to help out and to forgive. She was a strong woman. My Papa Joe was a good man. I don't have as many memories of him, but remember he did magic tricks and used to do them to make a candy bar appear before dinner, but we weren't supposed to tell anyone! He loved those squishy orange peanuts (I didn't inherit that love from him) and had a big orange recliner, he loved orange. How blessed am I? You don't have to answer, I already know :-)
Papa Joe was a World War 2 Veteran...
Mollie and Bill were my great grandparents. I don't remember Bill, but remember Mollie as an anchor to our family. I never heard her say a whole lot, but I remember her always there, quiet and strong. I remember Christmastime at her house...playing with cousins, opening gifts, eating the best food in the world, and no worries...When she passed, my Mamaw took her place as the anchor in our family...
Aunt Katy & Uncle Dell...honestly, I don't remember them, I was just a baby when the passed, but they are still very special to me. They died within the same year, I think they loved each other so much, they just couldn't live without one another. I was named after Aunt Katy. While you hear mixed stories about people, good and bad...I've never heard anything but good, no, great things about my great aunt and uncle. I've heard Aunt Katy was the best baker ever, and was famous for her cooking. Lots of people knew them, and thought the world of them. Uncle Dell was a carpenter, and there are many pieces still around that he made...a talented man. So, I'm thankful that I'm an extension of these two...
Ahh, Aunt Cora Mae. My great aunt. She lived a few blocks away from my Mamaw. My cousin and I used to walk down to visit her quite a bit. She lived in an average home, but when you stepped through the front door, it was something special. She had a yippy little dog, and rode around in her electric wheel chair (which didn't slow her down). Her home was full of collectibles, antiques, and fancy things. It looked like a victorian museum. While she did ask us to be careful, she was so good to us, she let us two wild heathens in to her home to play. There was never a speck of dust on her porcelain figures and her cushions on her furniture were always fluffed to perfection. Good memories...
I got a shot of the marker for my great aunt that I never met, she was my Mamaw's little sister...she died when she was only four. I remember hearing Mamaw talk about her...they are together again...
I had cousins that passed away as babies, and I didn't get pictures of all of them, but I did get one of my cousin Abby's headstone. She and I were almost the same age. She passed away a couple years ago. I have so many memories with her in them, especially holidays spent running around playing with her. I pray her parents can continue to find some peace until it's time to see her again...
All in all, it was a good day. Sad, but good. The truth is, I could go on for hours reliving memories. But, I just wanted to share a little. Today, my soul really was fed, I feel good, I felt a small measure of healing today..that's a good thing.
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