Refresher...

I got the chance to go to a retreat (ladies only!) this weekend. It is always hard to leave the kids. First, I have rarely EVER left Blake overnight (two other times, and one was a time I was so sick I didn't know where I was, much less that he was gone with his Mimi!). I miss the other kids when we are apart, but I am used to them spending the night with grandparents, friends, etc, from time to time, so it's not the same as it is with Blake. However, I knew that I would be refreshed, and that my husband and children would benefit from me being blessed at the retreat :) Finances are also always an issue, but I just felt like it was worth the splurge. Then the issue that my house would probably be a wreck when I returned, loomed over me. But, I decided that it was worth it...I just got it in my mind that I'd probably have a mess to tend to when I returned...and I did, but not too bad.
There were too many amazing moments to go into detail about all of them. Not only was the spiritual growth/refreshment completely amazing, but just the fellowship with other women was just awesome! Several hours of uninterrupted conversations with friends, new and old. It was so perfect! I came away with a lot, but the two main things were this...I am so thankful for friends that "get me"...the other thing, was the reminder of how awesome our God is. It is such a freeing feeling to know that nothing on this earth will ever satisfy us, only God can satisfy. It's freeing because it gives us the "go ahead" to stop chasing after all the "crap." The bigger house, nicer car, significant other, another baby, handbags, cute shoes, even good food...yeah, some of it is great, some of it God allows us to be blessed with...but none of it truly satisfies us. You will always want something else. Only God satisfies.
I am thankful to my husband, mother, etc...for caring for the kids while I was away. I am thankful for the ladies that worked so hard to put the retreat together. I am thankful for the friends I rode with and roomed with. God let it work out perfectly, down to the last detail, for me. He knew just what I needed.
If any of you get the chance to do something like that, go for it! You will be blessed :) And by you being blessed, you will be able to bless others :)

Brown recluse bite...Warning: graphic images

I cannot believe I am about to post these, but I am! A couple weeks back I was bitten by a brown recluse. Every year about this time, we see a couple of what we know as "house spiders". My husband sprays the house, and we don't see any again until the next year when we "rinse and repeat" :). This year was a little different. I found a brown recluse in the kitchen. My husband argued with me that it wasn't one. I was so thankful for the modern day world wide web...all it took was a few clicks on the computer to show him I was right. This is what a brown recluse looks like: Anyway, my husband sprayed that night. After another day or so I woke up to find a dead one in my bed. I'm not sure why, but I didn't freak out. I knew David had sprayed (and it was STRONG stuff) and I figured everything was dying. Fast-forward to the weekend where we spent time at the lake. I noticed a red bump on my hip and showed my sister. For a split second I wondered if it was a spider bite. But, it didn't hurt or itch and didn't look too bad. I have really sensitive skin, so I figured it could be just about anything. A day or two later I noticed the red area was growing. Then a smallish lump formed in the middle. Another day or so and it was starting to throb with pain, until then it never really hurt or itched. At that point I started thinking it might actually be a spider bite, but because of our lack of insurance since the hubs was laid off, I put it off for another day. The next day it hurt SO bad and was black in the middle, I decided it was worth the $$$ to go to Minor Emergency clinic. There they confirmed (because of the black) that it was a bite from a brown recluse. I got a shot, and a prescription for an antibiotic. I was told not to pick at it or mash it, but to apply a hot compress (a hot rag, possibly even heated in the microwave to get it as hot as I could stand and then lay it across the bite and then cover it with saran wrap to hold the heat in) several times a day. My leg continued to throb with pain. I was absolutely paranoid my whole leg was going to rot off. Granted, even though the sore was looking worse, it was NOTHING like some of the awful pictures I had seen online. A day or two after going to the doctor the pain was so bad, and it was even worse when I stood up...all I did that day was lay around and do the hot compress over and over. My husband begged me to let him pick at it but I said "NO!". I finally agreed to let him use a q-tip, not to mash or squeeze, but to try to pull the skin off the really swollen part. It hurt like ****, but I once he did that, a little later the pain did decrease. I expected a lot of stuff to come pouring out, and stuff did drain, but it was really slowly over the course of a few days. All the skin that was swollen and red began to peel (or rot?) off. It still isn't completely healed. I don't even know how long it has been (3 weeks maybe?)...but it isn't "gooey" anymore, nothing is draining anymore, and it doesn't hurt. It's kind of dry and a bit itchy at times. I took pictures a few days in a row, I don't have any from the very beginning or from the end, but I am totally about to post the few I have. I posted the warning in the title...these are kind of graphic...like I said, not near as bad as other pictures I have seen, but if you have a sensitive stomach, stop reading here :) I'm not sure if these are in exact order, and yes, you do get to see my pasty, freckle-y hip :) Also, these really do not show the variation in the shades of red, purple, and blue that spread out in rings from the bite (in person it really looked yucky) and it's also hard to tell how swollen it was, but here they are....

I love to blog. I really, really do. I just don't have much time for it these days. I also love to read blogs, especially ones written by other Mommies. But, I haven't had much time for that lately, either. This past year has really been crazy. Although....I feel like I have said that the last few years. Anyway, I just completed my Associate degree, which feels good. Now that I have been in school along with the kids, Summer break has a WHOLE NEW meaning. I am so thankful Summer is here, and school is out...for all of us! The hubs is still working from home, trying to decided what to do next in that area. It isn't easy, but God has provided and kept us afloat. I am so thankful to have such a hardworking husband. A couple weeks back I got bit by a brown recluse...it was nasty. I took my no-insurance-havin' self to the doctor. I got a shot, a couple meds, and thankfully it kept things from getting to ugly. It is starting to heal. Blake is a blessings, and also a challenge. He is so different than my other babies were. I know each child is different, and we aren't supposed to compare. But. When you already have three children who have followed somewhat of a similar pattern, then number four comes along and is here, there, and everywhere, and not at all what you were expecting...it throws you for a loop, sometimes landing you FLAT on your face. But, thankfully he is cute, so I'm going to keep him. Kidding! Kidding! (about the only keeping him because he is cute part). One thing that has kept me sane is a group I joined when I was preggers with Blake. It was a group of other ladies who were pregnant and due at the same time I was. We still have the group, and still keep in touch. It is nice to have Moms who have babies at the same age, and for them to understand where you are coming from, whether joyful, sad, or stressed. Truly thankful for that group of ladies. School. Did we cover this already? Hmm. I think I just want to say that I'm not finished, and I'm trying not to rush things. Only the sweet Lord knows what year I will really finish. Hopefully I will still be interested in teaching when that time comes. Although our budget is tight, my man is AWESOME when it comes to putting money aside. So, thanks to him, we are going to squeeze a beach vacation in this Summer. So excited. SO EXCITED. There are lots of places I want to go, see, and things I want to do...BUT the beach is just healing. I need some healing. I can't wait to put my toes in the sand...then the ocean...then back in the sand...and so on. :) This is a ridiculously condensed version of my life the past few months. It will have to do. Love to you ALL!

For those who don't know...

For those that don't know about migraines...I'm going to fill you in.
You may think this is silly because if you get migraines, you already know about them...and if you don't get them, then what do you care, right?
Too bad, so sad.
There is lots of good info online about migraines, so this is just a personal point-of view :)
The reason I'm writing this post, is to inform people that have people in their lives that get migraines, but don't understand what that means.
Let's get one thing clear...a headache is NOT a migraine. I mean, there are your run-of-the-mill headaches, but a migraine is a whole new level of pain.
I've heard they are hereditary, and I believe it.
My Mom always had lots of headaches when I was growing up and I never understood how she could get them so often. That is, until after I had my first child and started having migraines. I had had my fair share of headaches up until then, but the pain level started to increase and I would throw up with them. The progressed over the years. The pain is so bad, it feels like someone is inside your head with a hammer and they are pounding away, trying to find a way out. My day is done when I get a migraine, if AT ALL possible, I just have to take my meds and go to bed. Thankfully, my family is truly understanding. I have been sick as a dog before, and still up taking care of my family and getting stuff done, but a migraine puts me down completely. Usually it starts out with throbbing, can be anywhere, but lots of times on one side of my forehead. I will think to myself, "Please let this be a regular headache and not a migraine!" Then the nausea starts, the pain worsens, it's awful. My prescription Zomig (the nasal spray) works pretty good when paired with Phenergan for the nausea. If I have it, I take it, then I bury myself in covers. Ideally, I would pass out and wake up with it gone, but when you have someone hammering away on your skull, it's near impossible to fall asleep. Every sound is magnified, every light is painful to look at (at least for me). Also, now that my husband has been laid off and we are without insurance, my Zomig costs over $200 for SIX doses. Yup, you read that right. For the most part, I do not experience "auras" or whatever it is that is common with migraines...but the worse migraine I have ever had did start with a type of aura. We were in church, it was during worship. I was following the words on the big screen, when all of a sudden, I could only see half of the screen. I looked over at my husband to see if it was just me, and I could only see half of his face...I started to panic a bit (mind you I had no pain or other symptoms at this point)...I looked around at my children and other people...everything I looked at I could only see half. I whispered to my David to tell him what was wrong. He said I think you are stressed and your eyes are stressed, just close your eyes and relax. I tried, but I started feeling sick. I went to the car to wait on the family to finish with the service. By that time, serious pain had kicked in and we were on our way to drop the kids off at the in-laws and head straight to minor ER clinic. I couldn't breathe well, and my feet and hands actually curled up and were so tight I couldn't move them. I was OFFICIALLY freaking out by now. We got to the clinic and checked in. I remember at one point begging David to go find a rope and hang it around my neck. Now listen, I'm a woman. I can be just as dramatic as the last dame, but I would never joke around about suicide in this manner. I was desperate for relief! When they called me back, they ended up giving me a shot of what they said was very strong, said they'd be back in ten minutes and my symptoms should be starting to subside. When they came back, nothing had changed...it didn't help at all. The ONLY comfort I had was I had read somewhere that no one ever died from a migraine, although I was wondering if I would be the first, and if it would be self-inflicted. The doc said he had an even stronger shot he wanted to try, he administered it, and said he'd be back in ten. Thank you, Jesus! I could actually feel it kicking in, and I was immediately GRATEFUL! Of course, I was an absolute froot loop for the rest of the day, but at least I wasn't a froot loop who was in pain! Anyway, like I said, that was the worst one ever, but honestly, when you are in the midst of it, each one feels like the worst one ever. Also, my have been really bad lately. Last week I had three or four. Then this week I've had a couple, one happening on the day our family went out of town for a Spring Break fun day! I was so mad, but in too much pain to actually take it out on anyone or anything (besides, who or what would even be my victim??). Another thing, is some people are able to figure out their triggers, I have not been able to so far. I think that would be great information, because then you would at least know what to try an avoid. Also, I went for an eye exam last year, and they took pictures of the back of my eyes. The doctor said I had quite a bit less pigment back there than most people, which means light doesn't filter as well, and it could be adding to my migraines. I thought that was super interesting, and have noticed that if I go outside when it's bright for a decent amount of time, I get a migraine almost every time. So, even though I've never loved sunglasses like most gals, I've started wearing them. I try to stay inside on days like those, but I can't avoid life...we have soccer games, birthday parties, etc, etc, that I have to be a part of. I guess my point to all this, if you know someone who suffers from migraines, please know THEY ARE REAL. Just because you haven't experienced one, don't doubt how painful and terrible they are. Don't think your friend or family member is being dramatic, or a big baby...just do what you can to help, and be thankful YOU don't have to deal with one. We have four children, and I don't want to think about the odds, because I PRAY that NONE of my children ever have to experience a life with migraines...even though our two oldest boys already get a fair amount of headaches. My Mamaw once told me that she thought she had had a headache or two in her lifetime, but that was it. I cannot fathom a life with no headaches...!?! The fact is, we could all use a little more "walking a mile in someone else's shoe" type sympathy for others :)

This and that...

Well, Our weather has continued to be fabulous around these parts! Joseph had his first soccer game, and they didn't win, but played fabulously and we really enjoyed watching him. We finally had a "family" celebration for our sweet Izzy's 7th birthday! We had a cook out and cupcakes (her favorite!). She opened a few presents, including a bird house, that her cousins and herself had fun decorating at their sleepover. She also got to open her American Girl doll, that had been hiding in a closet for about a month, it was KILLING me to keep it a surpise! We chose McKenna, the current girl of the year. She had been wanting one for a while...and now we are trying to find a good weekend we can go the American Girl bistro and store in Dallas. Having a little girl is such fun! I can't believe she is SEVEN...but that's just what the kids do, continue to grow up way too fast. Baby Blake is a year and half now. He is super active, but doesn't talk much. He is just a bit behind schedule with that, and he has an appointment to get checked out for that later this week...just to make sure there isn't something we are missing. He bit TWO kids at his kids program he goes to twice a week when I'm at school. This makes victim #3 and #4. It makes me so sad, I don't know how to stop him, he has bitten a few times at home, but not much. I am worried he will get kicked out if he keeps it up, very stressful! As always, we are BUSY, BUSY, BUSY...the life of a Mom :) We have soccer practice for Joseph 2 nights a week and then a game each weekend, and gymnastics one night a week. Awanas for Joseph is on Weds. evenings. School keeps me SUPER busy. I just got my other test back and I made another 101 in Algebra! Seriously...I hate to brag, except I don't...because I am working my tail off in that class! I also just finished a Power Point presentation for my Education class, which I actually really had fun putting together. See? Sometimes being an adult is actually pretty cool.
Until next time, here are a few pictures from one of Izzy's parties...
(Yes, mother of four forgot the camera for J's first game of the season :(

Oops...I did it again!

I did it again...let my blog get away from me!
Changes continue to rule our family's life!
I left my part-time job. I only worked for a few months, but between a family, school, etc...it was too much! I missed being an "at home" Mom. Of course, with David being laid off, finances are very tight, but things are going ok...and I trust with God watching over us, they will continue to improve as He sees fit. I just got done reading "Kisses from Katie." That book is Uhh-Maze-ING! If you read, AT ALL, go get a copy. I downloaded the Kindle version for myself, and I see it as a book I will end up reading several times. I will share more thoughts about this book and the emotions/thoughts/etc that it stirred up in me :)
For now, I am back in full swing at school. One of my courses is College Algebra...a class I have put off as LONG as possible. I usually do the minimum in each class, and get an "A". With Algebra, I would be happy just to pass. I studied HOURS for our first test and almost passed out when I got my grade back...a 101!!!!! Woohooo!
This week, we have had a couple of sick kids in the house. I ended up taking Isabel and Blake in because of high fevers (Blake's got up to about 103 and Izzy's got over 104!) and a couple of other unusual symptoms...they did some bloodwork and concluded that it's a viral infection. I'm THANKFUL it's not anything more complicated, but of course with a virus, antibiotics don't help, so it just has to run it's course. Today they seem to both be feeling better, not great, but better. I'm just hoping the rest of us in the house stay healthy.
We had a couple of BEAUTIFUL weather days. I noticed my mood was MUCH improved. I've decided I think the yucky winter weather is one of the things that is kind of bringing me down...I can't wait for Spring!!!
For the most part, our family is doing well. "Even when I'm stressed, I'm blessed!"

Truths, part 2

Truths…continued.

I realize I ended rather abruptly on my last post, what can I say? Life with four kids, a hubs, and a dog can be crazy!

Anyway…

So, every New Year I start the One Year Bible…I think it is an amazing way to read through it. The problem is that I have NEVER finished it. That’s ok, though, one day I will!

I like to eat. I abuse food sometimes. Sad, but true.

I love the internet. I also hate it. I think it is a fabulous, modern tool that can be used for So many things. I also realize it can suck hours from each day without me ever knowing how quickly time was wasting away. It also keeps me from doing my laundry.


I am not a big drinker. In fact, I’m not much of a drinker at all. I won’t say I never, ever have an alcoholic beverage, but it’s rare.

I suffer from migraines. This is where things get sticky for me when I’m trying hard to be thankful for my life and all its blessings. I know people have it way worse than migraines, so I shouldn’t complain. But I do complain. They hurt like heck and they are PURE misery. The world has to go away when I have one. You will rarely see me post of facebook, “I have a migraine.” You might see “I’m getting a migraine” or “I just got over a migraine”. But if I actually have one, I can’t be on the computer. My Mamaw told me one day when she was still alive, “A migraine….humph…I had a headache one time, I think”. I cannot imagine MAYBE having had a headache one day of my life.

Speaking of my Mamaw…I miss her and my other grandmother, my G-ma, like crazy. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it many more times…I miss them SO much, so when I hear about people loosing parents, siblings, and especially their children…I can’t even go there, I truly can’t imagine how much it hurts.

I love asparagus.

I love artwork, all kinds.

I have a special talent. I think it’s called “show me a whole room full of shoes (purses, jewelry, clothes, gadgets, or whatever else you want to insert here) and I will pick out the most expensive one”. This talent actually really annoys me. It’s terrible to always like the most expensive things, and never be able to purchase them. Haha.

A list of things most commonly lost items at our house (no particular order): Socks, shoes, silverware, fingernail clippers, tweezers, and keys.

I love, love, love to travel. These days I rarely get to indulge in that love, though. The beach, Mexico, New York City…I’ll take any of them. I wish I could take my family around the world. There are three places I often daydream about…Greece, Austria, and thought it isn’t an actual place, a Disney cruise. I just keep reminding myself that Heaven is going to be way better than any of those places.

Ok, truth be told, there are a million more truths about myself. Duh. But, I'm tired and I can't imagine more than two posts on this...

Oh! One more…I love to blog and I love to read blogs (when time permits)!!!

Truths, part 1

I love and serve a King…The King…Jesus.

I am a wife and mother of four children.

I have been with my husband for over 17 years, though not married that whole time, and it’s insane to think I have spent more of my life on Earth with him, rather than without him.

When I tell people we have four children, I go back and forth between feeling confident about it and between people thinking I must be nuts, and feeling the need to explain that number #4 happened after a vasectomy that “healed itself.” It’s not that I am not TOTALLY IN LOVE with our sweet #4, I guess I just get too caught up worrying about what other people think sometimes.

I think it’s important to be a submissive wife. I used to totally disagree with this, but as I have grown in my faith, I have changed my views on this. I usually don’t like to bring this up unless I have time to really discuss it, because just the idea of it freaks some people out. I get it…I do. I’ll cover more on this in another post.

I will never understand how parents have “favorites”. Well, maybe as children turn into adults, and things sometimes go awry, I guess I can see where that might become the case…but for the most part, I don’t get it. I truly feel my love for my children is equal, although do love different things about each one.

I like to pretend I am more emotionally balanced than I really am. I can be quite cranky...and moody. It’s embarrassing.

I’m ADD. ADHD. Whatever. I own it, and I am working on it. I also have children that I I have passed this onto, or however that works. It’s a huge part of who I am, which I used to ignore but have come to terms with lately, and those close to me have to hear me talk about it, a LOT…I’m trying to learn how to be successful with it.

I long to be organized and an amazing housekeeper, but I am terrible at it. In fact, I think it has come between friendships. I sometimes won’t get close to people because of the ADD and the messiness of my life. It makes me sad, because I love getting to know people and their hearts…

I like to think I am thankful and content with what I have. And I am…to a point. In all honesty I have come a LONG way in this area, but just not far enough yet. I grew up a spoiled brat. I have slowly but surely had to recognize that material things are NOT “where it’s at”. I still struggle. I truly am thankful for my OVERFLOWING blessings, but this is just still an area I need help in.

I was a stay-at-home mom for years, and now I’m really not. My husband got laid off and now I work part time and attend school part time. I really like both, but it is incredibly hard to find the right balance with all the roles in my life. For some reason I feel too ashamed to tell people I work, even though many women do it. I’m not sure why. I think because I think moms, if at all possible, should stay home and raise their babies, and that is not my role at the current time.


…”Truths” part 2 will be my next post!

Yeah...about that...

I have obviously fallen off of the blogging wagon. I miss it. I used to be pretty consistent, but life has just gotten in the way the past couple of months. I went from bring pretty much a stay at home mom, to working and going to school (each part time, which EQUALS full time). Most days, I'm not sure if I am coming or going. We have had a ton of life changes lately, and I am still adjusting. I am hoping to get this blog up and running again. Although, my handful of readers probably abandoned the wagon all-together by now. We may have to start from scratch. Anyway, here I am. I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas holiday and New year...we did! Blake was actually able to participate in opening presents, and it was super cute :) This month, Joseph will turn 11 and next month, Izzy will turn 7. Whoa! A 15 yr old, 11 yr old, 7 yr old, and 1 yr old....who planned it this way??? I must say, being a stay at home Mom was NOT close to easy...but now that I am "out of the house" so much, I really do miss it. I am exhausted all the time, there is never enough time for everything that needs to be done (and I'm not a great prioritizer as it is!), and I am constantly questioning the decisions I make. I feel a bit uneasy about this new way of life, but thankfully God is a constant. Stay tuned for my next post, "truths about MY life"...