Random

So, I found a link to a blog where a family of 5 lives on $1000 a month (or less) and it was so interesting, but for some reason, I didn't save the link. I got to thinking about it earlier, and I did a search for it. All I could come up with was where it had been deleted. Really? Bummer! Maybe I was looking in the wrong place and it will pop back up?

I am loving Pizza Hut's $10 pizzas. I love veggie supreme (and adding peperoni sometimes), I may turn into a pizza. Actually, I would love a slice or 2 right now. Have you ever tried the Supremo sandwiches from there? Yum.
Isabel just turned 5 and she has been sleeping in our bed since she was about 2, when she learned to climb out of her crib. It honestly doesn't bother David or I that she likes to sleep with us (well, occasionally), and our doctor seems to think as long as we are ok with it, then it's ok. She has her own room/bed, and I was beginning to think it was a waste. Then about two weeks ago, she decided to start sleeping in her bed. What? Amazing. We didn't have to coax, bribe, threaten, or anything! She doesn't even wake up and end up in our bed in the middle of the night. She sleeps in her bed, all night, and wakes up in a great mood! Thank you, Lord. Again, I wasn't in any rush for this to happen, but thankful that it happened so easily and that she is ready, and it is nice to get to snuggle with my hubs.

I've been daydreaming about the beach, I miss it. I wish I was there. I'm sad that David couldn't get any vacation time scheduled over the Summer, when the kids are out of school. I'm trying to be super thankful (and I am) that he has a job, and we can pay bills, eat (woohoo), etc, when so many people are struggling and the economy is so bad, but Lordy I miss the beach. I miss seeing my tanned kiddos playing in the surf, digging in the sand, without a care in the world. Good times.
It's 10:00 and I'm still awake. Amazing. For the last month or so I can not stay awake past 8:30...I am always So tired. I've even taken naps a couple different times...which is not like me, because usually when I take a nap during the day, it ruins the rest of the day, I'm groggy, etc...but what can I say? I have just NEEDED some extra sleep.

I guess I should head to bed now, David just went, and 6 am will come too soon, I'm sure.

How was this blog for random? That's how my brain has felt lately (well, always, but lately it's been bad). Hope everyone has a fabulous week!

In progress...

Ok, so not referring to just one thing here, because MANY things in my life are in progress. I still have a fascinating (from my point of view) story to share, but because of some certain things, I'm going to have to put it off a little longer. So, on to other things for the moment being...
Right now I'm reading Crazy Love, borrowed from my sweet friend, Amy, thankyaverymuch. I've only just started, and it's challenging FOR SURE. I can tell it's one of those that will require a second reading to get the full effect. I just read the "lukewarm" chapter. Yikes, God asks us to be hot or cold, not lukewarm...but so many ARE lukewarm. If you are into reading, check this book out, I will definitely have to touch more on it later.
On a sad note, a young lady of only 31, passed away. I didn't know her, but know people/read blogs that know her. She's only a YEAR older than me. She thought she had the flu...it was pneumonia (still didn't sound bad when you are talking about an otherwise normal, healthy person), then sepsis, then one bad thing after another. She died today. She had a husband, and a young daughter. My heart aches. From what I understand, she was a Christian, so she is whole, healed, and beyond happy, living it up with God, Himself, as I type this very moment. But, I can't help but think of her loved ones left here, and how much they must miss her, and how deep their heart must hurt, even if they are of strong faith. I must say...I, personally, do NOT fear death for myself. At all. But, if I died now, or soon, I still have young children, and I fear for them. They need their Mommy. They need my guidance, my protection, my love...the kind that ONLY I can give. That aspect of death scares me to no end. So, I know this lady, Jenny, is ok, more than ok, wayyyy more than ok. But again, my heart breaks for those left here who have a rough road of healing in front of them. I'm praying for them.
So between hearing about this lady and reading the book, I've about filled my quota of deep thoughts on life for the month...my brain is tired. My whole BODY is tired, so off to an early bedtime...catch you bloggers later!

Visualize this...

Try visualizing this...
A long sleeve, ruffled brown shirt splashed with purple flowers
Over that, a gray sweater vest with hot pink stripes
Paired with navy blue sweat capris embellished with a plaid peace sign
rhinestone crocs...
add a chocolate milk mustache,
and you have my daughter,
or rather, what she had on when I got her out of the car to go inside a local pizza place and pick up dinner. She had changed from her school clothes, into a concoction all her own. I was pretty embarrassed, and contemplating just buckling her back up and going home without dinner. Sad, huh? I mean, yes, she did look a tad silly...but she's 5. And..she was clean (minus the milk mustache). Why would I care what people think about how my daughter was dressed...and what they might think of her mom (me). Wow. I like to think I'm not THAT prideful, then something like this happens, and I get a big dose of reality. I mean, I seriously almost went back home without dinner. Then I thought to myself, "Pride...take a back seat...seriously". And it did. For the time being. I walked hand in hand with my daughter into the pizza place, and didn't even make a loud, over-exaggerated comment about how,"Oh sweeeetie, I'm so proud you can dress yourself". Or even a quiet comment. I admit, I was a teeny tiny bit still embarrassed. But, even that I find ridiculous. That's my baby girl, and I'm proud of her, and hey, at least she has her own style! And, even though I can kinda laugh about this, it was still a serious reminder that I need to work on my pride, and getting rid of it. So, I'll add that flaw to my list, and get to work! :-)

Thinking, pondering,etc...

I’ve been thinking lately…how do you know how many children to have? I mean, is it something that is really planned “for you”, or not? For instance, the Duggars having 19 children…do you think God intended for them to have that many, or is that how many They just decided to have? What about couples that can’t have any? Are they not meant to have children, or are they hand picked to adopt from all the beautiful, needy children in the world? This topic is not to offend anyone, by the way. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about a lot.
David and I have three kids. We talked about it, weighed our options, and after our third child, we decided we were done. David ended up having a vasectomy. I honestly wanted him to go that route, because I had, after all, carried and given birth to all three of our children. Also, I have several friends who have had tubals, and have all told me about various problems they have, ranging from mild to more serious. The vasectomy cost less, was less invasive, much less recovery involved, etc…so that’s the route we went. I definitely didn’t try to talk him into it, because if something did go wrong, I didn’t want it to be “my fault”, but we weighed all the pros and cons…and this was the result.
Isabel is 5 now and over the years David and I have talked about reversal, but ultimately neither of us want any more children at this time, so we haven’t gone any further than talking about it. I have expressed, that when Izzy was a little older, I would like to consider adoption. After my first two children, my body bounced back to normal (basically) inside and out. After Isabel, my body had a rough time, I dealt with things I never dealt with after having my other two kids. In my heart, I knew I never wanted to carry another child again...not that I didn’t love it carrying my children, just that my body is DONE. I also knew the option of adoption would still allow us for another child, if we so desired, and felt God was leading us there.
Right now, the economy is bad, money is tight, at least with most people I know. We closed on our house the day before I found out I was pregnant with Isabel, and it’s already cramped for space, and I couldn’t imagine bringing another child into this home. We simply, in no way, shape, or form, are ready for another child. I don’t know that I ever even want another child, it’s up in the air.
The fact is, though, we were never really “prepared” when we had our other children. Life just happens sometimes.
So, my point is, how do we know how many children are right for us? I know 19 is not right for us…neither is 2…but what is? Is it 3? Is that “our” number? And how do I know for sure? I can pray about it, but what if I pray about it and don’t feel led in a certain way? Does that mean stop at three…or does it mean go ahead and take in as many children as your able to? I’m not sure. So, this is something that has been heavy on my heart, and what better place to vent than my blog, it is cheaper than therapy, after all. :-)

A perfect verse for me...

In my devo this morning...

"A child is a gift to us from God and He cares even more about our child than we do."

Cast...all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

This has spoken to me today, and has me in DEEP thought...

PS. Still working on my story :-)

Trusting

The Lord definitely works in mysterious ways. I have a story to tell, but need to work out the specifics...so this post will be short and sweet. Just a reminder to trust FULLY in HIM. Know that your plans, are NOT always His plans, He knows better than us. When you want what you want, it can be so hard to truly trust in the Lord, but every time I've pushed myself to do so, I've reaped great rewards. I know He knows my every need, my family's every need, and I hate when my faith falters. I'm trying to focus my prayer on asking the Lord to help me be more faithful, more trusting of Him. I know He has great things in store for those that do! :-)

Hope everyone has a magnificent day!

Trying to remain faithful...

I've had a non-eventful day,really. I've spent a little of it eating breakfast with my husband, picking up the house (though not near enough), running a couple errands with my mom, and pondering life.
A sweet couple from our church, watched as their son earned his angel wings today. I don't know them well, but I'm a mom, so I can (at least begin to)imagine the heartbreak. As I think of encouraging words, I think of things like...how amazing that child didn't have to suffer the harshness of this Earth, but gets to live in Paradise with the King from almost the very beginning of his existence. How amazing that he didn't die while still in his mother's womb, but they did get the chance to meet, touch, hold, and love on their sweet son. I would want to encourage them, to rejoice that he's in Heaven, perfect and whole. That's what I want to feel like, that's what I want them to understand, as a Christian. But.
What if that was my child? My son? Mine and David's precious blessing? Would I feel that way? Would I be grateful for those few days to hold him, and love him? Would I be grateful the Lord took him so he wouldn't suffer? I haven't been through that, thankfully, so I can't say for sure. But, I have three children here on this Earth with me, and I can darn sure speculate. I don't think I would be thankful. I think I would be hurt, confused, and mad. I think I would wonder why I was allowed to let a child grow inside of me, bond with them though never having seen face to face, and then have to say goodbye only a few days after "meeting" him. I'm ashamed, because that's not being faithful, but I think I would be furious, and heartbroken...to the core. I would be the mom, so wouldn't I be entitled to that first coo, that first smile, first word, first step, first day of school, and all the many days after that a parent fills their heart with? Why would that have to be taken from me? I can imagine being bitter. Lord, forgive me.
As I think on it though, I know the Lord is good and gracious. I think he understands when our hearts our broken, and we get upset, and we get mad, and we question why things are the way they are. After all, didn't He watch His own Son suffer? How He must have longed to reach down and grab His baby boy, snatch him right away from those that meant him harm. But, He didn't. He let him suffer, for the rest of us, for me, for you.
I can't imagine what this family is feeling, or any other family that has lost a child. It's not right. It doesn't feel right. Thankfully, he will never have to suffer on this Earth, and yes, He is thankfully, most definitely in Paradise, and there is No better place to be...I believe that with all my heart. But, I pray that their faith sustains this precious family. On days they are missing him with every ounce of their being, I pray they are able to look to the Heavens and feel His holy arms around them, reassuring them that their baby is safe, healthy, and waiting for the day the are together again. Lord, I pray you will keep this family close, heal them, and hold them, God. I am so incredibly thankful I have never had to endure the loss of a child, yet so incredibly heartbroken for those that have.

But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God" Luke 18:16